Breakups and Shakeups
by DeathCabForMari
Summary: Clary is at the start of another year in high school. With Izzy & Simon by her side and fresh off her and Sebastian's breakup, Clary is ready to use a new approach to life & boys: Meaningless, detached fun is the safest kind. But do old habits die hard? What happens when Clary tries to turn the tables on the boys in her life? AU. Rated M for Vulgar Language. Sexual content.
1. Breaking up is hard to do — Chapter 1

_**Hello world! I am DeathCabForMari and this is my very first story.**_

_**I am beyond excited to bring this story to you and would like to say it wouldn't have been possible without the best beta ever, IWriteNaked. Not only did she beta, but she helped me muster up the courage to write a story in general. It took me a while, but I crossed over to the dark side, with her as my guide. I feel so dang lucky to have her helping me. Thanks girl. **_

_**A quick shoutout to some of my favorite authors is in order: RippingButterflyWings, Katwood5, SpikeyHairGood, and obviously IWriteNaked. They are all amazing, and if you haven't read their stories...you must. You. Must.**_

_**Fair warning, there will be language, underage drinking, drugs, sexual content (though I haven't decided if it will be full on smut or not) etc. I am in no way condoning any of these actions, if anything I hope you learn from the impulsive actions of Clary Fray. I am simply telling a story. **_

_**Also, I have a Pinterest board dedicated to, and named after, this story. I highly suggest you check it out! I will update it as the story progresses, but you can go now to see things like Clary and Jon's outfits, Clary's car, what Jocelyn and Luke look like, even Izzy (and some of her summer antics with Clary) makes an appearance! Look me up under the same username. I will be posting a link on my profile either way. Thank you IWriteNaked for the idea, you're awesome. But this is common knowledge... **_

_**The most important thing of all: These characters, TMI, and TID do not belong to me, they are entirely Cassandra Clare's creation. Thankfully though, I get to borrow them for a while, and have my way with them. Yeah, I'm looking at you Jace... Which ALSO means the storyline **__**does**__** belong to me, so yes I'm copyrighting it like its hot. **_

_**The characters are AU**__**. **_

_**As I said I am a music lover, there were definitely songs I listened to while writing. I intend to have chapter songs each time I update for those of you who like that. **_

_**For this update I will list songs that Clary listened to while dealing with the heartbreak, so naturally they'll be all over the place. So without further ado I leave you with the chapter songs, the beginning of Breakups and Shakeups, and my heart in your hands, be gentle! **_

_**Magic- Coldplay**_

_**Fix You - Coldplay **_

_**Don't Speak- No Doubt**_

**_Hate (I Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's _**

_**Blow Me (One Last Kiss) - Pink**_

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

"You really think Sebastian gives a shit about you? He already has a girlfriend, Clary! He started dating her like a week before he got the balls to face you and break it off... Not that a freaking phone call is actually considered facing you—"

I hold my hand up, cutting him off, "Will, I get it. Sebastian has moved on, quite quickly might I add, but we are over, and this—" I gesture between the two of us, "cannot happen. It's not right. Seb is your _best friend_." I lie. I couldn't care less that they're friends, but I can't stand the way Will looks at me. He's always treated me this way, and frankly it's always freaked me out.

Will's hot; don't get me wrong and the feeling of having his tongue snaking its way into my lips, caressing my teeth... Damn. He's a really good kisser. That isn't bad at all. I admit, it's relieving to finally get that first post breakup kiss out of the way, even if it was with Seb's best friend... That's not too bad, right?

Sebastian's lips are the only ones I've really ever known. Seb was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and the first guy I got to third base with... _A lot_. We didn't have sex though; I could never bring myself to give him that part of me, despite the fact that I loved him; it just never felt right. Will's deep blue eyes bore into my emerald orbs, piercing through my defenses. I don't like that his stare makes me feel exposed. _Pull it together Clary_.

His black hair is messily ruffled atop his head, some of the bangs dropping down to brush over his beautiful eyes... _Dammit I said pull it together, not get confused! He's a weirdo! Think of how he stares at you when he thinks you're not looking, or the way he used to watch you make out with Sebastian, or how he always sniffs your hair when you hug him_. I shudder internally. This boy is creepy as hell, but God help me, he's hotter than my forgotten soda sitting in the trunk of my car— in mid-June, no less. I close my eyes to give myself a sense of privacy— ignoring how false that feeling truly is. It's pretty difficult to avoid feeling trapped when I'm sitting in Will's car with him.

He reaches out and holds my hands, which are knotted together in my lap. "Clary, we were having so much fun just now. I've always been very subtle about this since you were Seb's girl, but I've wanted to kiss you for so long. I don't regret it." Subtle? That was him being subtle?!

Me = creeped the FRITTATA out...

I sigh and run a hand down my face. He isn't making this any easier. I know he's hot, but it just ain't happening…

"Look Will, I am so thankful that you texted me today. Truly, it was good knowing that despite being Seb's friend, I can still count on you to be up front with me. Thanks for telling me about what was going on behind my back. But the fact that Seb has decided to get himself a girlfriend doesn't change how I feel about this. Besides, I don't need a boy in my life right now. It's too soon, no matter how meaningless it is." Another lie. Izzy already has a date lined up for me. I originally didn't want to go, but after hearing about Sebastian's dick move, I'm feeling pretty willing.

I reach for the door handle and slowly open the passenger side door, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to Magnus, Izzy, and Simon. We're gift shopping for Alec. Catchya later." I get out of the car and hurriedly walk back to my friends, far away from Will's gaze, which is boring a hole into my skull.

Chapter 1

I'm standing in my restroom wrapped in a bath towel; the steam still lingers in the atmosphere as I run my hand across the mirror, wiping off the thick layer of condensation. As the fog clears up I study my features and think about how _much_ has changed in the past few months. I look the same, but inside I _know_ better.

I think of my best friend Izzy and how amazing she's been to me this summer. All the times she came over as soon as I called her, begging for comfort. She would always be there; ice cream, tissues, and 80's movies in hand.

I remember the first night she came over, her words playing back like a mantra for sanity. _"Oh Clare-bear, I know you feel like the world is ending. But logically, this breakup was anticipated. I mean you were two high schoolers in your first relationship, you reached your peak and it was time to cut your losses. One day you will thank that asshole for cutting you lose when he did."_ I stared at her, dumbfounded at how deep she could be sometimes. She sat there, on my bed next to me with her back against the bedpost, shoving popcorn—not so delicately— in her mouth as we watched_ Sixteen Candles_. In that moment I silently thanked God for creating Izzy. She may not have ever been in a serious relationship herself, _purely by choice because that girl had men lining up just to be acknowledged by her,_ but she sure was in tune with this sort of thing. At the time I could only scowl at Izzy. She was thinking logically about the whole situation, but logics were not on my mind when it came to Sebastian. Not. One. Bit.

In retrospect, I can see that deep down I _knew_ it was coming, despite wanting to prevent it as much as I could. What I didn't expect was the hollow feeling it gave me, or how I felt like it came out of nowhere. I _should've_ expected it. But like many things in our relationship... I was in denial. I didn't expect to feel like the breakup left me hollowed out— an empty shell of who I _used_ to be.

Sebastian Verlac was my first boyfriend... Yeah, yeah,_ OMG I didn't have a boyfriend 'till I was 16_. But what can I say? I never had the best of luck with boys... that is, until Seb came along. I was so taken by his looks, charm, and all the attention he gave me, that I ignored those things that _should_ have mattered, the ones that ended up tearing us apart. That's how our year long relationship started. At first things were fine, heck they were as amazing as puppy love could be. But before I knew it, all of that had fizzled out; we were always fighting, and I was always impatient, suspicious, and had less self-confidence than I had started out with, and that wasn't saying much. The relationship was amazing, until it wasn't, and we both held on for far too long. Yes, he was the first boy I ever loved, _and still love_— we both tried to be better for each other. We _tried_, but we _failed_.

Admittedly, I would still be with Sebastian if he hadn't been the one to end it. He was all I knew and unchartered waters were something I _didn't_ like exploring. I didn't even have the courage to have sex with him, and deep down I suspect that was part of the reason we ended. He was ready to give me everything, but something always held me back. _How could I have been so stupid?_ I spent a lot of time doing this all summer; dwelling on the things I should have done and refusing to accept that it was too late to fix anything. It still hurts like hell to be without him, and for a while I did go through a depression. I mean he _literally_ dropped me for another girl. I may have pushed him away, I_ definitely _played my part in our demise, but that shit hurt regardless.

When his best friend, Will, texted me a week after the breakup, the last thing I was expecting was to learn that Seb had found a girlfriend _before_ we even broke up officially. Will trying to put the moves on me didn't surprise me. At all. I remember fighting with Seb about it, he never believed me when I told him Will gave me the creeps. Well, _we know how that turned out_. Either way, I am beyond thankful for Will. He may have had twisted intentions, but he helped fuel the fire that slowly grew within me.

As I look into the reflection of my green eyes, I can see how I've changed this summer. There are obvious changes, yes; I now have a nose and tongue piercing. I've had my industrial piercing for a few years now; mom let me get it after I complained that earrings were boring. Thank God for my mother's need not to '_oppress_' us... Such a hippie, that woman.

I look at the glimmer coming from the hoop ring in my nose, tilting my head as the light from the window behind me reflects off it. I remember going to get it done a few days after Sebastian broke up with me. I had always wanted to get it done, but Sebastian always told me my nose was too cute to pierce. He always _said_ he didn't care if I did it, but every time he looked at me with _those_ eyes, kissed my nose, and said those words, I just melted. In retrospect, Seb did that to me a lot. He had a way of making me melt in his hands, and directing me in the way he wanted. It usually ended with us on his bed, in little to no clothes... _God my hormones are driving me insane._ Where was I? Oh yes, Seb the jerk, Seb the guy who ripped my heart out and effectively stomped all over it like gum under his shoe. Seb my _ex-boyfriend_. Sigh... As I was saying, it was subtle but he was a bit of a control freak.

So naturally, once Sebastian discarded me like an expired gallon of milk I felt the need to do almost everything he had always seductively discouraged me from doing… With those lips of his… _There I go again, dammit. Sigh. I need a distraction._ As for the tongue piercing, I was angry and wanted to piss everyone off, like the mature adult I am.

I turn my head so I can look at my hair; my fiery red tendrils no longer reach my waist, but fall to my chest with streaks of blonde all throughout the bottom layer— _Magnus had a field day with my hair._

It's not the superficial changes I focus on though, but rather that good old confident glint in my eyes, the cocky smirk that is now etched on my lips, the single raised eyebrow—which I mustered enough fuel to _finally_ learn to do... _Thank you heartbreak_. I have clearly been spending too much time with Izzy. Her confident nature is rubbing off on me.

I was a very vulnerable girl this summer, and Izzy used that as a chance to take me under her wing and help me understand how to handle boys _her_ way; how to keep them at arms length, _if that's what I want, _and be the one to use them and leave them before they do it to me. According to Simon, she's totally corrupted me, but I think she's protecting me in her own way; and I can't say I'm complaining. _Anything to stop this dull ache._ It's not like I actually feel any different, but appearances are everything in high school. While I still walk around feeling like there's a hole in my chest, a piece missing, and that I'm slowly dying, I want people to think otherwise; for _boys_ to see me differently. "_If they smell weakness, they'll pounce you like you're their prey and before you know it, you're heart is broken again,"_ Izzy said one day while we skated through our neighborhood—or better yet I skated while she used her board as a sitting prop while she watched the sunset._ I must have been seriously depressed for Izzy to go skating with me_, _it_ _had literally been years. _Izzy helped me channel my crazy array of emotions, becauseabove all else I'm honestly pissed off. At myself? Yes. At Sebastian? Hell to-the-freaking yes. At life? A little. At love?_ Sigh,_ I'm honestly too scared to let someone in again, _hell no_, not going there again. I may look like I ooze confidence, but I'm far from that. I'm such a teenager...

A few weeks after crying to 80's rom-coms and Coldplay (Seb's _favorite_ band) while binge eating, I finally snapped out of my zombie-like trance and decided to let my best friend Izzy give me this makeover. She said it would help me cleanse and renew. I didn't believe her at first, but it really has given me a new level of confidence. I'm still me, but there's something extremely liberating about a clean slate. For once the little confidence I do have isn't fed by Sebastian. That's one thing I can definitely thank him for. When things were good, he was amazing to me.

I was also determined to show myself that I could be a little independent, so I used my savings to buy myself a car and get a license, with the help of my dad of course—hey, I did say a _little_ independent... I mean c'mon, I'm in high school, get with it homebrew.

* * *

><p>After I finished getting myself ready for school I headed downstairs for breakfast. As I enter the kitchen I hear what sounds like a bear ravaging his food and I turn to see my brother, milk dripping from his chin as he hovers over his cereal bowl at the table. <em>Very attractive<em>.

He gives me a knowing smirk and uses his arm as a napkin. _How charming._ "Hey Double K, sleep well?"

I roll my eyes. I'm so annoyed at this kid. I cross my arms, "You're such a hob-knocker Jon, and you blasted your damn music all night! On the night _before_ the start of the school year! You _know_ how I slept."

The events of last night went as follows...

Me: Jon! (Slams hands on door) Turn that noise down!

Jon: (Turns music up)

Me: Dammit! (Slams fists on door) Jon, I need to sleep!

Jon: (turns music up _even more)_

Mom: Clary, leave your brother alone and keep your noise down!

Me: Ahhhh! (Runs back to room and slams door)

Can you tell who my mom favors? Yeah, neither can I...

Jon feigns a hurt expression and puts a hand over his chest. "You mean you _don't _like my choice in music? I thought we had bonded over a mutual love of-"

"Shut up, Jon! There's a time for everything, and my nights are for sleep! Quit being such a jock strap and get your head out of your—"

"Did you just call me a _jock strap_?" He says, a smirk is tugging at his lips and I can see that he's trying not to laugh.

The truth is things are _just_ now getting back to being this way. When Seb dumped me I fell into such a deep depression that I rarely had the energy to argue with Jon about anything, I kind of just... existed. He often spent his nights letting me cry into his shoulder while he comforted me. It was a dark time for me, and Jon was one of the few people who held a light to guide me out.

I unfold my arms and let them fall at my sides. I'm fighting back a smile. He's such a clown. As_ irritating_ as Jon may be, it's always hard to stay mad at my twin for long. I sigh, "Maybe."

"Well, at least I know what _that_ is! I still can't figure out what the frack _hob knocker_ means." He scrunches his nose up and squints his eyes in thought, "Why do you call me that anyway? It sounds like a pirate name."

I sputter, where does he get this stuff? Though I'm no better, truth is I have no clue what it means, but I'm sure it can't be good. Either way, I don't tell him any of this, for obvious reasons. "Well, you don't hear me complaining about Double K! I've gotta come up with _something_ too. Besides, Double K sounds like a breakfast bar to me." I huff and cross my arms again.

Jon chuckles, "You earned that nickname again Shorty. Besides... It's not a bad thing, you know..." He looks at me with an unexpectedly tender expression. He smiles lovingly at me, standing to take his empty bowl to the sink. I watch his back as I feel a swell of emotions course through me. I used to hardly see this side of him—until recently. The last thing I want is to start out my first day of junior year crying. _Curse you for this, Jon_.

I sigh, blinking away a surge of tears that threaten to spill over. Jon started calling me Karate Kid Klary in second grade—according to him, my name was supposed to be spelled with a "K" and everyone was just oblivious to this absolute truth. One day on the playground, I pushed a boy off the monkey bars and kicked him in the shin after he spent weeks tripping me over, making fun of my toothless smile and frizzy red hair, calling me Hairy Clary—often leaving me in tears. Usually Jon made it over and scared him off, but that day he was kept inside during recess. According to Jon, the boy never bothered me again because I unleashed my "wrath" on him. I say I went far too easy on him... I'll get you one day Billy, one day.

From then on I was officially Karate Kid Klary—which Jon later changed to Karate Klary—when we learned about the KKK in History. Being Jon, he _still_ found humor in that. Oh Jon, the maturity of your 5th grade self just astounds me. To make it even better, he later changed it to Kickass Klary, when he learned the word _kickass_. Jon said I earned the name because I had a new look in my eyes. One of determination and pride; I no longer allowed people to push me around. It remained that way until we got midway through middle school. Basically, my ego took a hit from a monster by the name of Puberty. That bastard snuck up on me like a squirrel's mystical ability to materialize in front of your car, leaving you forever scarred by the inevitable consequences. Rest in peace, Sniffles...

After I started seeing my body go through all these weird changes at a much slower pace than Jon, Izzy, and Alec—who all looked like they belonged on the runway since 6th grade—my strong personality took a blow, until I was as complacent as that 2nd grade version of me. Then after the depression of my breakup subsided and I snapped out of it, Jon says one day he saw me walk downstairs with that same glint in my eye— in short, Double K was back and she was hungry for vengeance.

Walking toward me, Jon stops to my left at the entry— me facing toward the kitchen, him facing away from it. He places his hand on my shoulder and searches my face, for what I'm not really sure.

"You're okay?" He asks, almost unsure of himself.

I turn to look up at him since he towers over me. We may be twins, but at 5 foot nothing my stature is a stark difference to my brother, who is nearly 6 feet tall. His flawless fair skin, with silver white hair, and sharp facial features are rivaled by my pale freckled skin, fiery mess of curls, and round face. The only things we have in common are my mother's deep green eyes; on me it only makes sense, on _him _it adds to his already unique, and apparently alluring, appearance. _Gag me_. Jon, with the exception of his eyes, is an exact replica of our father, whereas I'm a spitting image of our mother. If you didn't know us you wouldn't have the faintest clue that we're twins.

I purse my lips tightly, squint my eyes, and nod my head. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little nervous, you know." I wave my hand aimlessly in the air. "It's no big deal, just first day jitters."

Jon doesn't seem convinced, I can tell by the tension in his shoulders. He's afraid I'll slip back into depression. He doesn't tell me this, but I already I know it. Call it a twin thing but Jon and I have the ability to silently understand each other. We are so in tune, so connected that often times those who don't know us think we're dating... _Ugh, just sick_.

People at our school stopped thinking that when I became Sebastian's girl last year, which is why Jon is nervous. Frankly, I'm scared too; those halls we walked through, fingers intertwined, those lockers we met at between classes, our spot in the courtyard for lunch, the janitor's closet that we spent many skipped classes in making out until we didn't know our own names... _Why am I doing this to myself?! _Sigh... The school is riddled with memories of _him_, and I suddenly find myself thanking God that Sebastian himself is gone—just a faint memory. Hey, he may only be at a school across town, but that's practically a different universe when you're in high school, especially in a city this big. Frankly, I don't know how else to be around Sebastian, so his transfer is a good thing.

"Well, I'm here for you, Double K," Jon pats my head and pulls me into his chest for a hug. I close my eyes, lean my cheek against his chest, and wrap my arms around my giant of a twin. He may be a jerk sometimes, but he's the sweetest most comforting brother when I need him to be. He's _my_ hob knocker.

"Thanks jerk-wad, now I'm all emotional." I say as I pull away, swatting his arm, and giving him a playful scowl.

"Well, now that I've used up all my cheese for the month, let's go before we're late and end up in Starkweather's Saturday school detention." Jon says as he heads into the living room. I sigh, taking my iPhone out to check the time, 8:05 AM. I roll my eyes, we have 45 minutes before school starts, and we live 10 minutes away… My brother may be a pig when it comes to his room, he may leave the dishes piled up to the ceiling sometimes, he may even let his dirty clothes build until they're a mountain in his room, but punctuality is a _must_ for him. _How random_.

I grab a few bagels and smile when I see Jon brewed me some coffee. I cannot and will not start my day without coffee, ever. I pour some into my "Fuck Bitches, Get Monet" travel mug._ Because I'm a classy woman who loves herself some Claude Monet humor, thank you very much._ I couldn't help but _love_ that mug, when Simon got it for me a few weeks after the breakup, as a desperate attempt to cheer me up. I swear I almost threw him against the wall and kissed him. _What? I was crazy emotional and hormonal… Thank God that phase ended already... Yeah, right_. Thankfully, Simon was spared from the throes of my hormonal episodes._ Not quite sure how he would've handled that_. My dork of a best friend hyperventilates at the mere thought of holding a girl's hand. Hopefully we can get him a girlfriend this year…

* * *

><p>After finishing my breakfast and refilling my Monet mug, I head toward the living room to catch Jonathan fixing his hair in front of the wall length mirror by the door, and I can't help but roll my eyes. This kid, I swear... He spends more time in front of a mirror than me.<p>

I suddenly realize I hadn't paid attention to what he was wearing. The same color as always. _Black, like my soul_, we always say jokingly... Black converse, charcoal skinny jeans, and a black shirt with the words "_Sleep Is For The Weak_" sprawled across the front, an xbox controller outline below it. I bought him that shirt, Simon was super jealous when he saw it was for Jon. I smile to myself, remembering Simon's pout as he crossed his arms and huffed, watching Jon's face light up as I gave him the shirt. Imagine how angry my best friend was when he saw that I bought myself a matching shirt, it took a Star Wars and Lord of the Rings marathon—in costume, no less— for Simon to forgive me. It was worth it though. That shirt is special to both Jon and I because, not only do we share a love for gaming, we also both love the reference to one of our favorite bands. _Bring Me the Horizon_ is life man, it's life. Oliver Sykes is my long lost lover, of this I am convinced... _Sigh_.

I've been such a nervous wreck about going back to school without Sebastian, so I know Jon is wearing the shirt for me. He wants to comfort me; to reassure me, and it truly makes me feel even more emotional. I'm just glad he can do it without compromising his wardrobe. _God forbid..._

My mother tried adding what she called "a splash of color" to Jon's wardrobe once. It ended with Jon taking a vow of silence for a week, in protest. I know... we Morgenstern's sure are known for theatrics. Eventually mom relented, seeing it as a phase he will grow out of; not wanting to oppress his freedom of expression. Yeah. That's my mom alright, a bit of a hippie. She took a road trip to a music festival once in high school. To this day she can't remember how she made it home, and frankly I don't dare ask for more details.

Mom's an artist, which is where I got it from—_thank you God for not failing me in that departmen_t—she owns an art studio downtown where she often holds classes, so it takes up a lot of her free time. Not that we mind. It leaves us with plenty of freedom to spend hours in front of our TV, playing Xbox. Gaming is life, yo.

"Trying to look good for anyone in particular, or has your obsession with self-image simply increased over the summer?" I say smugly to Jon, as I lean next to the wall length mirror, arms crossed. As soon as I see the flicker in his eyes, I immediately regret my words.

A grin spreads across his face, "Funny you should say that, Shorty. I should ask you the same question. Hoping the dreamy Jordan will finally, like, totally notice you?" He finishes the question in a high pitched, girly voice.

I roll my eyes as I bite back a smile, and punch him in the shoulder. "You're such a knob head, Jon. Seriously though, any lovely ladies that peak your interest this year?" I lift my eyebrows at him, hoping the subject of _Jordan_ is forgotten.

"One day I _will_ find out what that damn word means, and sadly, no." He sighs, "Unfortunately my one true love remains myself."

"How ever will you cope?" I reply, putting my hand to my chest dramatically, feigning devastation.

"You know how I cope," he smugly wiggles his eyebrows at me.

"Ugh Jon, you're such a pig! Maybe this year you should spare the female population at school. How many unsuspecting victims have you deflowered already? Actually, you know what? Don't answer that, sadly I already know. We are way too close for my taste sometimes." I visibly shudder.

He snorts. "Like I haven't heard about your little escapades in the past—"

"That's not the same Jon! I'm still a virgin, you know." I glare at him._ Jerk_.

He continues fixing his hair as he annoys the crud out of me. "Yeah, hardly. Either way, I doubt that'll last much longer at the rate you're going with Jace—"

I groan and throw my hands up in frustration. "One date! I go on one date with Jace—which Izzy set up by the way—and suddenly I'm jumping into bed with the guy! I haven't really seen him since then! Besides, he's back with Kaelie again." I say with finality, taking the last bite of my bagel and crossing my arms again. Honestly, he hasn't left it alone since I went on the date at the beginning of summer. I roll my eyes. _Serves me right for letting Izzy set me up with her cousin_.

Jon's hands freeze as they linger above his hair, his shoulders scrunched up as he hovers in front of the mirror. He slowly turns his head to look at me, an annoyed look on his face. "_Again_? Didn't she, like, cheat on him with _Aline_?" Sadly, this was typical of Kaelie. She's attracted to anything that walks: man, woman, dog, Bigfoot, C3PO, Shelob from Lord of the Rings, _anything_. Okay, maybe not dogs...

I let out a gust of air. "Yeah, yeah, apparently she was 'going through a phase'" I gesture quotes with my fingers around the words "and Jace did what he always does." I raise my outstretched hands to my sides and left them fall against my legs.

"You mean he forgave her, so he can _do_ her?" Jon says as a wry smile spread across his face.

"As always. They've been at this for over a year now. I can't blame him though. I think the closest he's ever been to love is with Kaelie, and when it comes to love you will do_ anything_ to keep that person," I say._ I definitely understand him_.

We've actually been friends with Jace for a long time. Izzy, her brother Alec, Jon, and I have been inseparable since 6th grade, and being their cousin and all, he kind of came with the Lightwood package. He moved away a few years ago while his parents divorced and moved back in the middle of freshman year. He's been a distant, albeit a constant, friend to Jon and I ever since. When he came back though, I was like _hot damn boy, you lookin' fiiiine_. Puberty did _him_ well. Sigh. Puberty did everyone well,_ except me_.

"Well then, all of that," he gestures at my outfit "_must_ be for Jordan, then. Hoping to get lucky little sis?" He smiles at me as he wiggles his eyebrows.

_I am so over this conversation_. I glare at Jon, reaching for my coffee cup and taking a sip.

"It is most definitely for him! He is absolutely going to have his way with you and you're not gonna do a thing to stop it." A female voice croons from the hallway.

I choke on my coffee. Jon and I freeze. _Oh my god_. We turn to find the source of the voice. Our mother, Jocelyn, stands with a large box of paint in her hands, two others set down beside her_. She came in here _twice_ already? How did we not hear her?! _As she stands before us, I'm forced to note all our similarities. Her deep green eyes stare blankly at us; her fiery red curls are tied up in a knot above her head, with loose tendrils falling all over. She is a bit taller than me, but not by much. _Why have you forsaken me in the height department mother?_

Jocelyn Fray-Graymark, or as we like to call her Mom, Momma J, the Head Honcho, the Main Pea in Our Pod... we are nickname enthusiasts in this household; so either get with it, or hit the pavement bro-ski. Anyway, she's the reason Jon and I have turned out so... free spirited, I guess that's the best way of saying it. She and my Dad, Valentine, divorced when Jon and I were 5. Ever since then we see him occasionally, but he's a busy man. I love my dad, but I can see why he and mom just weren't meant for the long run. Mom has always been a wild spirit, and she felt controlled by my Dad, like he was trying to drain the life out of her. She left him and took us with her because she knew Dad's job would always come first, and we would simply be another outlet for him to assert his authority on. Though, my Mom would _never_ dare tell us any of this—Jon and I just had plenty of nights were we would sneak out and listen through her door to hear her crying to her best friend, Luke, over the phone about it all.

She stands before us looking straight ahead, a slight hint of annoyance in her eyes—_Wait. Back the truck up. Did she just call me easy? Me? Her own daughter? If anything, that's Jon!_ Heat creeps into my cheeks at this, my eyes widening. I nervously fidget with my coffee cup and mercilessly chew my lower lip. She turns to set the box down, revealing the Bluetooth headset in her ear. Jon and I sigh, collectively. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

"Look Amatis, I've gotta go. We'll talk later. Okay? Bye." She says into her ear piece.

Oh God. She was talking to my aunt about her sex life. Gross.

"Oh, look at you!" Mom says as she walks toward me, arms outstretched. "You look _wonderful_, Clary. You don't need to feel embarrassed by how you're dressed," she says as she places her hands on both sides of my face, pressing my cheeks together. She thinks I'm blushing because of what I'm wearing. I decide it's best to leave it that way. _God that would have been beyond embarrassing._

"I personally love that you let Izzy spice up your outfits a little bit; show that boy what he missed out on," she says as she continues pressing my cheeks together.

Yeah, I was undeniably in a very vulnerable place when I let my best girlfriend give my wardrobe a little spicing up. Izzy wanted to change it completely, but as one of my favorite shirts says, _Never Get between a Girl and Her Band Shirts_. This is why I'm wearing my white Arctic Monkeys shirt today. However, I'm not donning my usual jeans and converse. Instead my shirt is tucked into a high waisted black and white polka dotted skirt—a huge step for me because I'm _not_ a skirt kind of girl, or I_ wasn't_ until Izzy had me get used to them over the summer. Lucky for me, she found my green zip up sweater as a great accessory, saying it was a good layer for the skirt or something. All I know is that it's as long as the skirt so I can cover it up if I want. I'm so thankful for the black tights I'm wearing. They help my legs feel less exposed— though I am well aware that they aren't, the tights just help me _feel_ covered. As for my shoes, they were a definite compromise. Izzy wanted some crazy pumps. It's like the girl forgets school isn't a social event. She wanted me to add some height, so the black platform shoes we ended up choosing were a win for both of us. I could never part ways with my lucky beanie, so that was a _must_; my hair is in two braids, which fall to my chest. Adding to the spunky look, Izzy gave me a black choker to match the black rosary my grandma gave me for the first day of school a few years ago.

I roll my eyes at my Mom, pulling her hands away from my face as I begin feeling my blush change to a deep shade of red. "Mom!" I say in a whiny voice, because I'm a junior now, and I want my maturity to show. "You're gonna mess up my makeup! Besides, Sebastian doesn't go to our school anymore, this isn't for _him_." I say rather bitterly, and I realize I sound about as convincing as Izzy does when she says we won't spend more than an hour at the mall. In short: not one person in the room believed me._ I see you in that portrait Grandma Fray, eyeballing me suspiciously...I see you_.

"Well, as much as I don't think you should change to please, I _do_ believe in the road to self-discovery," she says as she places one hand on my right shoulder and one on Jon's left, trapping us in a mini Morgenstern-Fray love circle—with her as the chain that holds us three together. "And what better way than through self-expression?" She says as her eyes dart between Jon, who is to my left, and I. "I love you both so much, and I'm so proud of you," Mom says, and she pulls us both in for an awkward three person hug/huddle. "Now, before you go I need you two to move those boxes back there over to the trunk of my car," she gestures to the boxes with her head. Jon and I roll our eyes so hard they nearly get stuck that way when my mom smacks us both upside the head._ Can you feel the love?_

* * *

><p>We're setting the boxes in the trunk of my Mom's Jeep when we hear Chris Cornell's beautiful voice start blasting from my car. I turn to my look at my brother, a huge grin on my face. "Luke," we say in unison as we run to my car.<p>

When we get to the car we see Luke sitting on the driver's side, door flung open as he fidgets with the new sound system in my car. _Wait. New sound system?! _

"Luke!" We both yell, over the song that's blasting loud enough for us to feel the vibrations.

Luke's eyes are squinted, his nose scrunched up in concentration as he messes with the wires. We wave our arms to try and get his attention, but he's too focused on whatever he's doing to notice us. My mom walks up behind me holding my messenger bag and coffee mug. We stand there and enjoy the beauty that is _Audioslave_, until the song comes to an end and Luke finally looks up to see us there, excitedly waiting.

"You've officially made my day Luke," I say, still smiling "_Like a Stone_ is a classic. You know me well."

Luke gets out of the car and walks toward me, a shy grin on his lips and his hands shoved in his pockets. "You are absolutely my musical soulmate," he replies.

"You know it," I say and hug him tightly, burying my head in the space between his neck and shoulder. _Please don't see me blushing_. He's such a sweetheart.

I love Luke, he's amazing. I would be lying if I said he didn't influence my musical taste growing up._ I would also be lying if I said I don't find him the least bit attractive. You know, in the_ "he's your stepdad Clary so stop crushing on him, dammit!" _kind of way._ I _don't_ have a crush on him, in case you we wondering...I did when I was like 9, but I'm a grown woman now, almost 18. Besides, he's my _stepdad_; it's wrong on so many levels...right? _Curse_ you mother for having such good taste in men. _Curse_ you Luke, for being your amazing, fine as heck self..._sigh.. _

Luke Graymark has been my Mom's _incredibly_ _attractive_ best friend for years. They got married when Jon and I were 10. Luke took the courtship painstakingly slow, making sure that Jon and I accepted him just as much as Mom did. We first met him when we were 9. I think the moment he won me over was when I walked into his bookstore to find him jamming out to The Cure, while reading a Kurt Cobain biography. _What's not to love?! My mom sure knows how to pick them_. Once again, _sigh... _

Luke is seriously the coolest. He honestly didn't have to try because the second I saw the way he looked at my Mom, I knew he was the one for her. His musical interests were merely a plus. A _huge _plus. In short: We freaking love the guy. After they got married, Luke bought the book/music store next to my Mom's art studio so he could continue working and keep close to her. So freaking cute right? I_ never_ thought I would say this about my Mom, but I ship her and Luke _so much._ I can only hope to someday find a man that treats me the way Luke treats her; like she's a God-given gift to this earth. Honestly, I think Mom and Luke were meant to be together all along, but destiny had other plans, involving a particularly badass pair of twins...

"So, Luke was it just me or is the sound system in Clary's car like, 10 times better than normal?" Says Jon with an excited smile on his face. I roll my eyes. _Boys and their toys..._

"Yeah, well, since your father insisted on _helping_ Clary get this beauty of a car," Luke says as he thrusts his thumb toward my white car behind him, "I figured I would help her get a sound system that better suited her needs." I look down at my feet,_ he's always spoiling me_. We are _such_ music lovers and Luke has always made it a priority.

"Thank you so much Luke. The sound is amazing." I say, looking sheepishly at him. I still feel bad that we weren't able to get the car he found for me. It was perfect. Not too old, not too new and flashy. But good old Valentine just had to step in. My Dad, Valentine, had insisted on me getting what he considered, "One of America's top of the line, safest, most reliable vehicles." Basically, there was no way in heck I could ever afford it, so I spent all my savings and he paid the difference. Trust me, when it came to an Audi A3 Cabriolet, there was a huge gap between what I _could_ pay on my own, and what I _needed_. But alas, my Dad had his mind set. Did I mention Morgenstern's and their inclination for theatrics? We are over-doers, for sure. He refused to even consider letting me driving the car Luke found and offered to fix up for me.

I give Jon a side glare and he smiles at me innocently. We've been at this for days. I suspect he's the reason I was forced to get the Audi. He _loathed_ the car Luke found, while I _loved_ it.

"I sure am glad _you're_ so happy about the sound system too, Jon," I say accusingly.

"It's alright..." Jon says, trying, and failing to sound casual. _I'm on to you, bro..._

When Valentine first sent the car, Jon tried his hardest to hide his excitement and relief so I wouldn't suspect him. Too late. We've been silently battling this out ever since. I _will _get him to admit his part in my being forced into this car. Which is why I told him that since he loved it so much I was gonna be the nice sister and let him drive it when the school year began. He's too busy psyching out about it that he doesn't realize he's agreed to be my full time driver. I'm gonna get him. Oh yes.

"Well, we've got about 20 minutes so we'd better get going," I say as I sling my messenger bag over my shoulder and grab my coffee mug from my Mom. Walking over to the passenger side I look at Jon expectantly. He walks toward the driver seat, a huge grin on his lips._ Yeah, laugh it up, bro..._

I cough loudly, getting his attention. "You forgetting something?" I ask, as I raise both eyebrows at him.

Jon rolls his eyes, "Oh yeah..." He walks back around to my side, sliding his hand along the trunk of the car, and opens the door, gesturing me in. Another condition to letting him drive my car. _I am such a forgiving sister..._

I slide onto the bright red leather interior. I must admit, it is a nice car. At least I was allowed to choose the colors. Good ol' Val, actually giving me a little freedom.

The engine roars to life and Jon's smile reaches epic proportions while I explore the new sound system. As the Bluetooth detects my iPod, I immediately scroll through my playlist searching for the one voice that will calm my first day jitters. It's a ritual, every year I jam out to this man as a way to start the school year.

Suddenly the car is swimming in melodic sounds, Billy Corgan's voice croons soothingly. I close my eyes, a smile tugging my lips. I take a deep breath and lean my head back against the head rest.

** Believe, believe in me, believe**

**That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain**

**We're not the same, we're different tonight**

**Tonight, so bright, tonight...**

I feel Jon backing out of the driveway as I open my eyes and wave to my Mom and Luke. Looking over at Jon, whose tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, I smile to him. He reaches over to hold my hand, and the music envelops us as we head to the start of our Junior year of high school._ This should be fun._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Oh Clary, if you only knew the fun that awaits you..<em>**

**_One thing is for sure, Clary sure does like to contradict herself, doesn't she? Oh to be a teenager... She doesn't know what she wants but at the same time she knows exactly what she wants! The angst is palpable..._**

**_Izzy, Simon, Alec, and Magnus will be introduced next! Maybe some Jace? Some Jordan?_**

**_**_So what did you all think?_**_**

**_Jocelyn accidentally and unknowingly called Clary out, that was a personal favorite _****_moment. _**

**_Kaelie...oh that Kaelie, not even C3PO is safe! _**

**_Jace and Clary went on a date in the summer? How did THAT pan out? _**

**_What's up with this whole Jordan situation? _**

**_Please click the review button and sound off! This is my first story ever and I'm pretty nervous about it! It was a rather long chapter and I can't guarantee that it'll always be this way. Again, this is my first time writing a story so I'm not sure how it'll be as I write more. This chapter was meant to set up and introduce some of the main characters in Clary's life. I am a mom so I've got a lot of craziness and hectic schedules to deal with, and I've only got one child! But I will always try to update again as quick as possible. _**

**_I want to give the biggest possible shout out ONE MORE TIME to IWriteNaked. She's the Clary to my Izzy, the Alec to my Jace, the Magnus to my Chairman Meow. She has truly encouraged me throughout and continues to do so—quite literally! I'm talking to her as I write this AN! She's the best and if you haven't read her stories you MUST, they will change your life. You will give up everything you own to join a monastery and dedicate your life to changing the world...or you'll simply find some amazing stories to follow and/or like. I see you Reckless Abandon and Shedding Skin, I see you! _**

**_The songs mentioned in this chapter were Like a Stone by Audioslave and Tonight, Tonight by the Smashing Pumpkins. All rights go to them. _**

**_Until next time lovelies! _**


	2. Reuniting is hard to do — Ch 2

**Oh my gosh, you guys...28 follows and 11 favorites?! And the reviews...you guys are awesome. Every time I got an alert I was beyond ecstatic. Well, onwards we go with the next installment! **

**Fair warning: Lemon alert for a certain scene we've all been waiting to read about. I'm looking at you Jace and Clary. Which reminds me, they were BOTH single when it happened. Keep that in mind...**

**Substance abuse will be present in this story. Underage drinking to be precise. **

**The first few paragraphs are in a mystery POV, see if you can figure out who it is! ;) **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own TMI, TDI, or its characters. But I do own lighter fluid and a set of matches with mine and IWriteNaked's names on them. I also own this story, it is a product of an overactive imagination I tell you.**

**tiggerjoshy****: I want everyone who reviews to give him a shoutout. He's my amazing husband, and is currently deployed with the Navy. During his busy schedule he found the time to actually MAKE an account on here just so he could favorite and follow my story. He's a dork, but I love him. He's the Simon to my Izzy. I kid you not, he's a total tech geek. That's right, I married a hot nerd. Move over Izzy Lightwood. **

**To ****Daire123**** and ALL my readers: I thoroughly appreciate input and feedback. It means more to me than you know. I want the story to entertain as well as educate those around me though mistakes made and lessons learned. It may not seem like it, but there are definite lessons to be learned from the choices Clary Morgenstern will make. But I'm going to go ahead and warn you now, there will be choices that Clary makes that maybe you (and I) won't agree with. She's a misguided teenaged girl. But I just ask you to trust me, in the end it will all be worth it. Stick it through with me and you won't regret it! **

**More shout outs and thank you's at the bottom A/N! Because I always have too much to say... **

**Chapter songs: **

**Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects (mystery POV scene) **

**LoveGame - Lady Gaga (Jace and Clary reunite)**

**Animal - Neon Trees (Jordan and Clary) **

**Closer - Tegan and Sara **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

He steps out, shrinking away from the shine of the sun and brings up his arm to shield his eyes. Taking out his phone from his jacket pocket, he rolls his eyes at all the missed calls and texts. _I can't even get one night to myself, can I?_ He says aloud as he replies to the 56 texts _she_ sent. Lazily walking to his pickup truck, he stops to admire it. He had been hard at work on it since he bought it from his boss, earlier in the year. Working for a mechanic had its benefits. This much was made clear to him after all this time. He had been learning the ins and outs of being a mechanic since he was a freshman and he was damn proud to see his progress.

His two story home sits toward the end of a long row of houses that line his neighborhood. The curb across the street—where his car is parked—is attached to the median that divides his street from the road that cars use to access all the neighborhoods and schools in the area.

As the tall boy unlocks the driver door he momentarily freezes at the sound of loud thumping music nearby. He looks up in time to see a beautiful Audi A3 going down the main road. He takes a moment to admire the color and shape, trying his hardest to ignore the way his stomach dances and flurries from knowing whose in that car. A slow grin soon crosses his face. _Clary_, he says to himself and watches as she sings along to the music. There's a twinkle in her eye as she smiles over at her brother. He hasn't seen her in what feels like much too long; she looks a little different, that much he can tell. _Guess there's no avoiding me now,_ he thinks to himself as a determined grin plasters on his face. He hasn't been able to get her emerald eyes, soft pink lips, the way her curls bounce on her shoulders when she throws her head back in laughter, or the touch of her fingertips on his sweaty skin out of his mind. He shakes his head and proceeds to throw his notebook, pen, and phone—which now has 10 texts in reply to his single text—into the passenger seat. He looks at his phone, _why can't I just keep_ her _in my thoughts instead of Clary?_ His phone vibrates from receiving another text. _Oh, right, that's why... _ He can't stand how clingy she is. He reads the latest text:

**Where are you?! Are you ignoring me again? Are you mad? Baby?! **

The phone vibrates again while in his hand.

**I'll make it worth your while. I'll make you feel good if you forgive me ;) **

He lifts an eyebrow. He's never been sure what love is, but he's pretty damn sure he's as close as ever to that with his girl, he wishes she would see that instead of wanting to fix everything with sex. Not that he minds though, he is a guy after all. He's not one to pass up getting some action from his girl. Even though, when he kisses her there's a side of him that still pictures red curls falling on his face, and tangling in his fingers.

He sighs one more time, running both hands down his face. He doesn't get why he suddenly can't resist those thoughts and fantasies. He's had them before, for as long as he's known Clary, which is why he's always been such a flirt with her. But he just passed it off as simple attraction, she's an attractive girl so it only made sense. But she had always been just a distant friend, nothing more. The phone vibrates again and he groans, feeling annoyed. He doesn't bother to look this time. He turns the keys in the ignition as the engine roars to life and he peels off as he heads to his first day of junior year.

Clary:

The beautiful sounds of Billy Corgan's voice continue soothing my nerves as we find a spot to park. Pulling into our spot, Jon sighs as his hands continue to grip the steering wheel.

"Hey, you okay Jon?" I say in a worried tone as I place a hand on his shoulder.

He turns to look at me, and I'm surprised when I see his eyes are anxious. "I just can't have you slip back into that depression Clary. It took Izzy, Simon, and me a lot of hard work to pull you out of it. I've never seen you so destroyed, so... so dejected."

"Hey, that's what first love does. It hurts like hell when it ends... But I'm good, I promise. Double K is back and taking names." I smile at him as I playfully punch his shoulder and poke his side.

He returns my smile and looks out to the school. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Was Link ready to face Ganondorf in Ocarina of Time?" I ask him smugly.

"Ganon caught Link off guard and he caused his _own_ destruction and—

"You get the point Jon! Besides, he had Zelda just like I've got you." I say as I give his hand a tight squeeze.

His eyebrows knit together and he scowls. "I'd be touched if you hadn't just called me a _princess_."

I'm about to respond when we are interrupted by loud music coming from outside my window. I roll my eyes and turn my head, an irritated expression on my face. _Shit_. I'm frozen in my spot when I am met with golden, tawny eyes that are looking right at me. _Jace_.

He's smugly grinning at me and examining my face, presumably taking in my change in appearance since the last time we saw each other: the night of our _date_. Suddenly, it's like I'm Noel Kreiss in Final Fantasy and I get pulled back in time. Except, unlike him, I can't change the past. I can only relive it. It's almost like I can literally hear the music from that night pounding in my ears.

_Everything is a blur and everyone is moving in slow motion. I rub my eyes and try to shake off the buzz to no avail. When I open my eyes I feel two strong arms wrap around me from behind. Jace. He's holding a shot in each hand and brings one up to my mouth. I feel the sting of the alcohol immediately as I tilt my head back into his chest. The bass hums through my body as I sway to the music. Jace is pressed up against my back. We've both had way too much to drink. Sober, we wouldn't be acting so forward with each other. We had our date earlier and ended it with Alec's birthday party at his family's beach house. Jace's hands slide down my sides while mine are raised above my head, wrapped around his neck, tugging on his hair sensually. With every tug I give I hear him growl as he nips at my ear and presses his hands into my lower stomach, effectively closing the space between us. I feel a bulge press against my back._

"_Oh God," I gasp as I lift my head and let my eyelids fall shut slowly. I feel the weight of someone's gaze on us, but the alcohol fogs my judgment too much for me to care._

_"Not God, baby," his voice is rough as he whispers in my ear, "Just me." Jace kisses me along my neck, which willingly cranes for him. _

_Before I know it we are in the guest room, on the couch that faces the glass wall. It has a perfect view of the ocean and the night sky, but we aren't here to stargaze—not even close. _

_Jace is sitting down as I straddle him, my hands gripping the back of the couch, on either side of his shoulders. My hair cascades down my bare shoulders; some tendrils have fallen forward, grazing Jace's chest. My strapless, skin tight dress clings to my sweat layered skin. He groans into my ear as our hips grind together, creating a delicious friction that we feel through the fabric of our clothes. His hands tighten their grip on my thighs. I moan into his ear and his thrusts become harsher._

"_I'll help you forget all about Sebastian, baby," he says with a rough, lust filled tone as he peppers wet open mouthed kisses along my collarbone. _

_I gasp at the onslaught of pleasure waves that ripple through me when he buries his face into my chest. He bites at the material of my dress, which barely covers my cleavage at this point. Izzy and her damn push up bras. They deceptively make my chest look a lot more alluring. He slips his tongue into the space between my breasts, and I moan uncontrollably. _

_"Sebastian, who?" I try my hardest to say jokingly as it comes out in between pants and groans._

_He chuckles against my chest, making me shiver as his breath against my wet skin causes goose bumps to rise. He lightly bites the skin of my cleavage that peeks out of my dress before digging his hand into my hair and pulling me down so our lips meet. There's a voice in my head yelling at me to quit being an idiot and stop using Jace as an outlet for my anger; that I'm only doing this because of what Will told me yesterday. I told that voice to kiss my ass after Jace and I took that 5th shot of vodka together._

_He bites and sucks on my lower lip. "God, I want you," he breathes into my ear._

_"Hmmm?" I hum against his neck as I suck and bite his skin. The hum from my voice, combined with the tugs I'm now giving his hair, causes a low growl to rumble in his chest. _

_"You have no idea how long I've wanted you, Clary..." He manages to say between groans._

_My mind is shrouded with alcohol and lust, and before I can even begin to process his words he moves the hand that's been resting on my inner thigh slowly and eases it closer to my panties. He traces patterns with his thumb on my skin softly. I shiver and tighten my grip on his hair in response, my hips bucking into his, eliciting another sexy growl from him. God I love that sound. In this moment all I feel is Jace; he's all I can breathe, taste, and explore. We speak in a language only the two of us can understand and exchange pants and moans into each other's mouths. My dress is pulled up to my stomach at this point and the only material shielding me now are my black lace panties. Suddenly, the thumb that was caressing my thigh slips into an area only Sebastian has touched and I scream Jace's name. _

"Jace!" A loud, high pitched voice brings me back to the present and I can feel that my cheeks are flushed. _Damn_. I realize I'm still looking into Jace's eyes and I gasp when I see a glint in his eyes that I recognize all too well: lust. And he's biting his lip. _Holy shit. _He was remembering too._ Oh God_. My eyes widen and I muster every fiber of my willpower to _not_ blush.

"Jaaaaace!" The annoying voice screams again. Kaelie. _Oh joy_. He gives me his signature smirk and I roll my eyes in response before Jace turns to his passenger seat to bark at his girlfriend. _Oh Kaelie, if you only knew._ I draw my bottom lip in between my teeth, biting back a smile as I turn to look at my brother, who's looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What the hell was _that_ about?" He says to me, slightly accusingly but I can tell he's more curious than anything else.

"Oh you know me and Jace; we've always been weird with each other," I say as I wave a hand aimlessly. It's true, ever since we've known each other our interactions have been one extreme or the other. We either argue endlessly or flirt shamelessly, the latter of which we do a whole lot more since his return mid-freshmen year. It caused some tension between Sebastian and me, but once Seb saw I would never cheat on him with Jace, or anyone for that matter, he no longer worried.

"But that look you two shared... I'm no stranger to it. _Trust_ me. I've given it to enough girls to know it well. It's my _I'm doing dirty things to you in my mind_ look," Jon says.

I gag, trying to hide my blush. It's times like these when I wish my twin didn't share so much with me. "Ok, first off, that's disgusting," I say as I smack his arm and he chuckles, waving my hand away. "Secondly, it was exactly what I said. Just a look. He wasn't doing anything sexual with his eyes, Jon. Not everyone is a pervert like _you_. Why do you keep insisting on me and Jace being a thing?" I say as accusingly as possible, and I'm concerned to realize how defensive I sound. I don't want people knowing about my drunken hookup with Jace. We didn't go all the way though— which I was extremely relieved by. _Losing my V-card to Jace that night would have been painfully awkward._ Pun intended.

Not only would I like to avoid our friends finding out, because they'd never let us live it down, but also Kaelie. She's an insane type of female. The kind of girl that'll tape your eyelids open and make you watch terrible sequels like _Grease 2_ and _The Son of the Mask_, or anything after _Home Alone 2_... She's evil, man. Pure. Evil. I do not need that type of drama right now.

Granted, Kaelie and I weren't on the best of terms to begin with, and finding out last year that she was mildly attracted to me only deepened my discomfort toward her. What am I supposed to do with information like that? It was something that threw me for a loop, especially because we had always butted heads. She's always been arrogant, self-centered and I've never hesitated to call her out on her B.S. and it only worsened when she started dating Jace. Or whatever you call what they do. Everywhere we went, Kaelie always found a way to either pull all the attention to her, or pout and fight with Jace if nothing else worked. To her, any kind of attention was good and I thoroughly wanted to dunk her face into a tank full of piranhas for it. This is doable, considering I have one in my room. _They're the best kind of pet. _

We all eventually accepted Kaelie into the group, because for some crazy reason, she makes Jace happy. Literally. She makes him happy everywhere and anywhere; in restrooms, theaters, closets, school stairwells... and he loves her for it. Yeah, Jace is a total perv just like Jon. But to him that's love, and he's happier with her so we tolerate her.

Jon is still looking at me, his eyes now squinted suspiciously. "I know you, Clary. Better than you know yourself sometimes. You're hiding something. You've been avoiding Jace like the plague since your date with him." He shakes his head once more and sighs, deciding not to press it any longer. He knows I'll come to him when I'm ready to share anything that may have happened with Jace. "You two are the most confusing type of friends ever. You're wrong about one thing though. _All _boys my age are perverts," he says as he grins at me and winks.

"Your faith in the male sex is astounding," I reply dryly as we both get out of the car, walking past Jace and Kaelie who are _already_ making out. Jace is leaning against his hood with Kaelie standing between his legs, her arms wrapped around his neck as she shamelessly shoves her tongue down his throat. I roll my eyes. _Way to prove Jon's point._

I'm trying my hardest to get rid of the discomfort I feel in the pit of my stomach every time I see him kissing her. I swear I've always had this feeling when he's around her.

Remembering what I've learned from Izzy, I smile and decide to play the role. _Let's do this,_ I mentally chant to myself. I turn around, since I'm halfway down the walkway to the entrance of the school, and catch Jace's eye. Kaelie is now kissing all over his neck. Walking backwards I say, "Glad to see _Jaelie_ is alive and well. I've always rooted for you two; our very own Romeo and Juliet." I hear Jon chuckle next to me. Kaelie simply replies by flipping me off, her head never detaches from Jace's neck. Jace grins at me and lifts an inquiring eyebrow. I lift an eyebrow in response, lick my lower lip and bite it. Jace's eyes widen momentarily and I fight against my urges to pump a fist in the air and say _Get it, Clary!_ So I celebrate internally. Jace always made fun of me for not being able to raise a single eye brow. _Take that! _I wink at him as he stares back at me dumbfounded, with Kaelie still attached to his neck, and I quickly turn around.

Feeling pretty confident, I continue walking toward the building with my brother, who's shaking his head and laughing. "Simon's right. Izzy's totally corrupted you. What happened to my shy little sister? Double K seems to have taken over you completely."

"The struggle is real for Double K," I say as I look over at him, and before he can reply I walk straight into something—someone. My hands shot defensively up toward my chest right before I slammed into this person. I can feel his abs through his shirt and they're deliciously chiseled. I feel his chest shake from a chuckle and his breath grazes the top of my head. I look up at him and am met with hazel eyes and an all too familiar smirk. _Jordan_. The explosion of butterflies within me is something I've grown used to, yet it feels so foreign to me._ It's been too long, my dear. _I haven't seen him all summer. I've purposely avoided the boys in my life ever since what happened with Jace. _Can't afford to lose control like that again._ Either way, it's not like I have a chance at all with Jordan. He's been devoted to Maia for years. I remember at the end of freshman year when I found out about her. She showed up with the rest of her 8th grade class for a tour of the school and Jordan was at her side from the moment she stepped on campus.

Jordan is a confusing guy, because he's charming as hell. He looks at you like he's ready to take you into the band room and have his way with you. The problem is that is just how he is. I learned that quickly when I realized he wasn't treating me any different than any other girl at school. Of course, once Maia became a constant, his eyes were always on her. He loved her and looked at her like she was the stars in the sky. I wished to high heavens he would look at me like that. He's the one guy who would've gotten me to leave Sebastian, if the chance to date him ever presented itself. I realize I'm still looking up at him, frozen as I'm now wrapped in his arms. _He's got his arms around me?! _

"Hey there," his deep voice croons to me.

I gulp. "H-hi" I say in a breathy voice. _Real smooth, Morgenstern._ I mentally face palm.

He chuckles, again. "It's good to see you Clary. It's _really_ good." He says to me as I stand there staring up at him. I know better than to take his words as anything more than casual flirting. He's always been this way with me. It's never meant much to him. _While I stupidly hung on every word he said._

I'm suddenly aware of how close our faces are to each other, with my added height. _These damn boots._ My stomach drops and I open my mouth to say something only to close it again. His gaze pierces into me and I relish in it. His unruly dark brown hair sticks out in the most alluring way, begging to have my fingers rake through it. Jordan's gaze remains downcast toward me, and it doesn't escape me that his muscles feel so delicious as my hands wrap around his forearms, which are covered in tattoos. _He is literally sex on legs, this man. He will be the death of me. _

"How come I haven't seen you all summer? Do you not work at Luke's store anymore?" He asks smiling down at me. _Crap_.

Jordan's been working for Luke since we were in 7th grade. It's how I first met him. We've worked there together ever since. This summer though, I wanted a break from boys so I had Luke schedule us differently. Just the sight of his truck parked in front of the store made my stomach explode in a frenzy of butterflies.

I gulp. "Of course I still work there, I... I've just been busy. That's all…" I say, trying to sound convincing. I feel a heat rising from my neck.

"Clary!" I turn to the voices that call me in unison. My brother is standing in a semi-circle along with Izzy, Simon, Alec, Magnus, and the Siamese twins forever attached at the mouth that is Jaelie. Yep, they're _still_ sucking face._ How in the world did they manage to move spots like that?_ Pure talent I tell you, those two. They all look amused, except for Jaelie of course because they're barely coming up for air. They must be going for some type of world record. Their PDA is at a record high today and the first bell hasn't even rang yet. My brother at some point joined our group leaving me behind to mumble like an idiot to Jordan. He looks the most amused. Jon's face is contorted in a state of _I'm about to sneeze but it just won't come, someone help me! My eyes are gonna implode!_ Okay maybe not that extreme, but he's holding back a laugh. Jerk face.

I turn back to look into Jordan's hazel eyes. Sigh. I could get lost in them and in his arms all day. I take a slow deep breath, savoring the smell of his cologne mixed with his natural scent. Hesitantly I pull away. _He's with Maia_. I tell myself. _This won't happen, get it in your head already!_

Stepping back, I manage to say, "Thanks for catching me. You know how much of a klutz I can be. Anyway, I'll uh, see you around, I guess..." I try to sound confident, but my voice comes out shaky. Damn. Jordan always does this to me. _So much for playing it cool, Morgenstern._

I turn to walk away when suddenly Jordan's hand shoots out to wrap his fingers around my wrist, effectively pulling my gaze back to his eyes. "I'll see you around, doll face. Maybe we'll finally get a shift together at the store? Oh, and by the way, I'm digging the tongue ring," and he winks at me. This is what I'm talking about, he's so damn charming! _Swoon_.

I smile at him and blink several times, trying to catch my breath. Turning away I mouth the words _Oh my God, _to Izzy and Magnus, who look about as jubilant as if they had won a shopping spree at the mall. As I make my way toward the group I can already hear Magnus squealing in excitement. I take that moment to notice what he's wearing. _Geez Maggie_.

Never to be outdone, Magnus is wearing black leather pants with glitter along the hem, down the sides of his legs. He's sporting a zip up suit jacket with a gold chain design all over and lipstick bottle prints are spread throughout. Under the jacket Magnus is wearing a black shirt and his hair is a perfect mess with glitter on the tips._ I thought we were going to school, not Pandemonium. _In short: Magnus is hard to miss.

I look over at Izzy standing next to him and my eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Going for a different look there, Izzy? Did you wake up and decide to channel Lara Croft?" _Someone gave herself a makeover._ She's wearing light brown, skin tight pants, a charcoal blouse, a dark brown leather jacket with ankle boots and even a backpack to match. I raise an inquiring eyebrow._ Oh yeah! _

Her eyes widen momentarily before they dart over to Simon. _Huh? _What's going on? Suddenly I realize it; she doesn't want him to drone on about his fictional soul mate. I totally get that, because when it comes to Lara Croft, Simon is a complete fangirl._ Well then why dress like her?_

Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. _Izzy is blushing?! _

"I don't even know who _Tara Cross_ is, Clary. Besides, I just didn't feel like dressing up this year. I stayed up super late. I was... reading, so I wasn't up to taking 3 hours to get ready this morning."

_Reading? Seriously? _Something's up... I roll my eyes at her, but before I get a chance to talk, Simon cuts in. "It's Lara Croft, Izzy. Her name is as unforgettable as she is! She's amazing. Did you know she was created..."

Simon trails off telling a story, to no one in particular, that we've all heard more times than we care to count, as I continue to stare at Izzy. My eyes narrow in suspicion. _What is she up to?_ She always dresses to the nines for the first day of school. _Always_. No wonder she strangely insisted we meet up at school instead of her spending the night, like she does every year. She knew I would badger her for answers if I had her all to myself. The first day of school to Izzy is like the first day of the Kentucky Derby. _Seriously, something's up_. Iz can tell I'm on to her, so to take the attention away from her, she says, "So, what as all that about just then?" She gestures with her head to the spot behind me where I saw Jordan. You little traitor. I narrow my eyes at her. _I'll get you to talk later, there's no escaping me._ She looks at me both pleadingly and apologetically.

Magnus squeals, "Yes! Tell us Clary, what did Mr. Hottie tell you?"

"It's really good to see you." I reply plainly, because that is what he told me.

Magnus puts a hand to his chest and gasps, "Oh, Clary my darling! It's really good to see you, too!" Before I can anticipate it, he pulls me into his chest and pats the top of my head. I smell glitter, I _smell_ it. How did he do that?

Magnus steps away, holds me by my forearms arms and shakes his head lovingly at me.

"See everyone? Take note of Ms. Morgenstern over here," he gestures toward me with his palm facing up as his other hand now rests on his hip, "_she_ knows how to properly greet her friends," he says.

I face-palm. Oh Magnus.

He continues, "A simple head nod, barbaric grunt or slap across the shoulder is not the way you greet your friends after a long summer break such as ours."

"Magnus," Alec _finally_ finds his voice, "we all saw each other last Friday."

"Hush Alexander. Back to school etiquette is important no matter how often you see each other," Magnus replies.

"Who has got their schedules?" Jon cuts in, throwing a wink in my direction. Yes, the twin code._ I owe you bro._ Jon and I have an unspoken twin code where we bail each other out of situations, and I've never been more thankful for it. I'm tired of talking about Jordan. Sure, I've had a full summer break from it, but their incessant need to encourage my on-going crush on

Jordan is as pointless as my actual crush on him. Maybe it's not so pointless now that I'm single, but he _isn't_. He doesn't even like me. He's just a tease, and a flirt, and a Greek God...

We all hold up our schedules, minus Kaelie. She went off to probably fix her makeup after the assault her face took from that lip sucking session. Jace actually managed to detach himself from her? Wait, why is he even here? He doesn't even have his schedule. Usually, he's off with his group of friends, though he did spend a lot more time with Alec this summer. I would know because I took great lengths to avoid the Lightwood residence after our date. Lord, let's not go there again.

We proceed to compare schedules, and are extremely pleased to see our lunch hour is the same. As we coordinate our day, the bell rings and so begins our school day. I make it through my first 2 classes relatively well. Simon's in my first class, Jon and Izzy in my second. It isn't until my third class that my day takes a sudden turn in the worst kind of way.

I walk into 3rd period US History joyfully. I have Ms. Imogen Herondale and she's known as a fun teacher. Call me a nerd, but this makes me excited to start the year. I find a seat toward the end of the row closest to her desk in the corner of the room, and take out my sketchbook as I wait for class to start. That's when I hear it. His voice.

"Hey, doll face, what a pleasure seeing you here." _Jordan?!_

I keep my eyes downcast, trying to train my expression before I look up. When I finally do, his gaze still manages to take my breath away. Hot. So deliciously hot. "Hey you..." I say.

"This seat taken?" He asks, gesturing to the desk directly to my left.

"Not that I know of..." I say, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Keeping my eyes trained on my sketchbook, I try to calm the excitement from knowing he'll be sitting so closely for a whole year. _Don't blush, don't do it..._

The bell rings and Ms. Herondale stands from her desk. "Good morning class!" She says smiling.

She is about to speak again when the door swings open. The late student casually strolls in, a cocky smirk and a glint of amusement in his golden eyes as he looks directly at me. Jace. _For crying out loud, seriously?! _

Again I say, this should be fun...

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><p><strong>Yes, a cliffhanger. Muahahaha. But seriously though, I really REALLY wanted to get you guys a chapter already. So that's where I had to end it for the sake of everyone's sanity. I hope I made it up to you all with the Clace and the little bit <strong>**of Clordan.**

**PLEASE GO TO MY PINTEREST FOR MORE FROM THIS STORY. That is, if you still need a fix, hehe. Find me under DeathCabForMari.**

**I love discovering new music, so if you hear a song that you think I might like for the story (or just to share with me) DO NOT hesitate to tell me! I'm quite the music lover. I have a NEW tattoo to prove it! Just got it last Thursday night. It's a musical note with an anchor. I love it.**

**So: Who do you think is the mystery POV? What did you all think of Magnus? I was nervous when writing for him. What is Izzy hiding? What do you all think of how Jordan treats Clary? Ok enough questions. I love reviews so sound off below!**

**Thank you as always to ****IWriteNaked****: my beta, my Clary, my Alec, my Chairman Meow, my partner in crime..what would I do without you? I would implode. That's what. **

**My author shoutout of the week is to the amazing ****ddpjclaf****, hers were some of the first TMI fics I read. If you haven't read them.. You. Haven't. Lived. They are AMAZING. I'm currently rereading 9C's ..my personal favorite out of all of them..**

**Shoutout to ****Katwood5****, ****RippingButterflyWings****, and ****SpikeyHairGood**** for the continued encouragement and support!**

**Emily. ****: you are some type of crazy individual, and I love you for it. You have left quite an impression on me...**

**Katiebug2000x**** : you're an amazingly understanding reader. Trust me, most of my experience on here was been on the reader's end, and I tend to get impatient. I've NEVER seen anyone tell the author to take their time! You. Simply. Rock. Thank you for your review. You are the review of the week.**

**Until next time, my lovelies! —DeathCabForMari**


	3. Going to class is hard to do — Ch 3

**Oh. My. Gosh. You guys! 72 followers? 31 reviews? 29 favorites? Insane! **

**I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG! **

**A shoutout to my husband, aka tiggerjoshy! He just spent a few days in Dubai and will soon be headed back out to the middle of no where in the ocean. I am beyond proud of my sailor and the bravery he is showing during his deployment! I LOVE YOU BABE!**

**A humongous thank you is in order to my beta IWriteNaked. She put up with my excessively long chapter and beta'd like a trooper. Everyone send her virtual hugs! She deserves them... **

**Due to my extended absence, I made this chapter relatively long. It's a good 8.5k words. My goal was to write enough for two chapters. I want to try to update every 2 weeks. "TRY" being the operative word. **

**Important note: Will Herondale and Imogen Herondale (who I introduced in this chapter) are NOT related in this story. They just happen to have the same last name... **

*****Underage drinking referenced*****

****Disclaimer: I only own the storyline, the TMI characters belong to Cassie Clare. I simply borrow them for my own scheming purposes. All rights go to their respective owner.****

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Songs<span>: **

**Haunt (demo) – Bastille (scene 1)**

**Lithium – Nirvana (scene 2)_ **Best describes Clary's view of herself at the moment**_**

**Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too – Say Anything (Clary's ringtone)**

**Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden (scene 4) **

**My Body Is A Cage – Arcade Fire (Jace confronts Clary)**

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><p><strong>Please read my AN below! There's more apologies, shoutouts, and groveling...<strong>

**Without further ado, chapter 3 of BAS. Hope you all enjoy!**

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><p><span>Clary<span>

I'm mentally screaming to the high heavens as I beg the earth to swallow me. I have literally never wanted to disappear more than I do right now. God, why?! This is worse than the time I walked into Simon's room to find him just-showered, very naked, and singing "Barbie Girl," and that mentally scarred me in ways I dare not speak of.

As if it isn't bad enough that my long time crush and summer hookup will both be in 3rd period with me, it's mine and Jace's relationship with our teacher that makes it so, so much worst. This kind of thing literally only happens to me. My stomach explodes in a frenzy of butterflies as I stare into Jace's eyes with that trained Lightwood expression on my face. Thank you Izzy Lightwood. I try my hardest to not give away the effect he's always had on me. For some reason it seems to have intensified ever since our date.

See, Ms. Imogen Herondale is Jace, Izzy, and Alec's cousin. I've known her as long as I've known them. She's basically watched me grow into the awkward 17 year old redheaded art freak nerd I am today. She's in her 20's, so the smaller age gap has helped her relate to us pretty well. If it wasn't for what she knows then I wouldn't be so mortified knowing I'll be sharing a classroom with her and Jace for the entire school year. But life just isn't that fair to me. Life wants me to pull out my hair from anxiety and embarrassment, and I just might. See, Imogen is also the only one apart from Izzy who knows about what happened between Jace and I this summer. Actually, she has a monumentally worse idea than what actually happened. I firmly believed if I acted like nothing happened and focused on her reputation as a fun teacher that everything would be fine. But with Jace in the picture now, those chances are slim.

"Good morning, Ms. Herondale," Jace says in an amused tone.

Imogen stands with her arms crossed, a grin on her lips. "Mr. Wayland, already late on the first day." She doesn't seem as put off by his presence as I am. Then again, she isn't the one who got caught in a compromising position by her future teacher with said teacher's cousin. What is life? I bite my upper lip nervously as my eyes are now downcast. I keep them trained on my sketchbook. The poor thing has been the target of my glare so many times today, I think it just might combust. "I was actually just told I would be in your class, Ms. Herondale" he emphasizes her formal name and I can tell he's amused by all this. "The office messed up my schedule during orientation and are just now fixing it. But I sure am glad this is where I'll be all year." I don't know if he's saying it because he likes the idea of having his cousin as his teacher, or because he likes to make me cringe whenever I have to face him. I sneak a peak at him and just like that, green meets gold again. I don't need to be close to know that his golden eyes are sprinkled with dark brown specks, making them look like every hue of orange and brown mix like the leaves that ruffle together in the fall. There's a slight chip in his tooth, and when he smirks he gets dimples that form right above the corners of his mouth. I never gave much thought to such details until that morning. The morning when I knew I would avoid Jace Wayland until I had no choice.

**Flashback:**

My eyes fluttered shut and my body was relaxed. The bed was so comfortable. I shivered and tugged at the shirt I was wearing, and I felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me into a muscular chest. I was too hazy and tired to open my eyes. I felt a feather-light touch trailing down my face. I smiled and leaned toward Jace's touch as I scooted closer and tucked my head into the crook of his neck. I didn't know why, but I felt the urge to kiss his pulse. So I did. I heard a low hum, urging me to continue. His nose trailed down my jaw until his lips met mine. We kissed for what seemed like eternity, but these kisses were slow, caressing, and comforting. Jace's lips brushed my ear, "Goodnight Clary." Those were the last words I heard before I let sleep envelop me.

After what must have been hours of delicious rest, I heard a soft click. Like a door being carefully closed. Why? Usually when I overslept Mom sent Jonathan up to wake me and he wasn't gentle about it. I slowly cracked my eyes open and I had to squint to see beyond the shine of the morning glow that burst through the room. I reached up to rub my eyes, and once I regained my sight I froze and my stomach dropped. It wasn't my room. It wasn't my bed. It wasn't my pillow?!

My head was on Jace's chest. My head was on his chest! Dear God.

Then I became aware of the steady rising and falling that came with his breathing. Jace was still sound asleep. Thank God. I lifted my head and looked around. I found myself to be completely tangled with him. My arms were hugging his torso, my legs were literally tangled with his, and I was in his shirt. I managed to slowly pull myself off of him, and I ignored the way my stomach dropped at the loss of his touch. I scooted myself away from Jace and sat at the edge of the foot of the bed. What the hell happened last night? Flashes of vodka shots, dancing, rubbing, kissing, pulling, moaning, and teasing came to mind. It was all so good, so damn good. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to piece the fragments of my jumbled memory together. Where was Jonathan? Then I remembered him leaving late last night with some girl. Our parents weren't in town, so he had the house all to himself.

Gripping the edge of the bed with both hands, I braced myself for what came next. I slowly stood and walked over to the glass wall—Jace's shirt was so big on me it reached my knees. My head pounded to the rhythm of my heartbeat, and each time it did I felt the dense pain of my hangover spread throughout my body.

I pressed my forehead against the cold glass wall and closed my eyes. I remembered how trashed we both were, how uncomfortable my dress was, and how quickly I jumped out of it. I was too tired to care that Jace was seeing me half naked. I didn't care that I grabbed his hand and pulled him down into bed as I fell into it with him. I didn't care when he took his shirt off and maneuvered his hands around my body as he slid it on me. I most certainly didn't care when we ended the night cuddling until we fell asleep. I didn't give any of those actions one ounce of thought on how this would change things between Jace and me. It was just supposed to be one harmless date—so much for that.

Looking over my shoulder, I found Jace still sound asleep. I knew I used him. I needed comfort, and I needed company. I needed revenge on Sebastian. The butterflies I felt in my stomach as I looked at Jace's sleeping form only made me feel worst. I'd always felt those around him, but they intensified. I had always been attracted to him. That was no secret. But I'd also always cared for him, despite not being the closest friends. God, I was horrible. I used him. Maybe he used me too, since he's still reeling from Kaelie cheating on him, but I'm no better than that skank. I used Jace, just like Kaelie always does. The guilt that rippled through me was too much to bear. I couldn't face him. I walked over to where my dress was thrown on the floor and picked it up.

After changing I made my way to the door. I gave him one last look as I slowly opened the door and sneaked out. I knew it was cowardly to not face him, but things had always been complicated enough between us. That was only going to make it worst.

As I made my way down the hall I turned the corner and slammed into someone. My eyes widened and I swallowed a gasp. "Imogen? H-hey, gosh I'm so sorry. I wasn't even looking where I was going, I just... passed out last night after that crazy party and I really don't want to—"

"Wake Jace up?" she said. My jaw nearly hit the floor. I felt myself turning red.

"I… I... he. We..."

She held her hand up, smiling wide. "It's okay, Clary. You don't have to explain yourself."

I blinked. "But, it's not what you think!" I whisper-yelled. "We just... I was just…" I closed my eyes and let out a defeated sigh. I was not helping myself at all. I opened my eyes again, "Look, I have to go to work. Please don't tell anyone what you think you saw. I just fell asleep, that's it." I turned around and continued heading for the back door. As I opened it Imogen spoke again.

"Clary?" I bit back a groan and froze mid step, again. I didn't turn to look at her that time.

"You two looked adorable together. It took him long enough to make his move." This caused me to whip my head around toward her, and I ignored the immediate onslaught of pain that daggered to the core of my head. Damn hangovers. My eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. When did she see us? She wasn't there last night. Then it hit me, and I had to grip the door handle to support my shaky legs. Crap. The door click. She saw us, tangled up together. Oh God. I decided to focus on anything other than knowing what she saw.

"Took him long enough? What are you talking about? He's always been hung up on Kaelie." Imogen's eyebrows shot up in surprise. What was so surprising, dammit? "Yeah, I definitely don't miss high school. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? I just hope you two used protection. Well, I'll see you around kiddo." She winked at me and my jaw nearly hit the floor, again. This was much worse than I expected. I heard my name echoing in the distance.

**End flashback**

"Clary?" I look up to see Jordan curiously staring at me.

"Yes?" I reply, but my voice comes out shaky.

"I've been calling you for a while. You had me worried. You really dozed off there. Anyway, we got paired up and have to do this questionnaire." He hands me the paper.

I look up to see Ms. Herondale attending to some work on her laptop. I try to avoid eye contact but she looks at me and winks. She _winks_. There has to be something in the student handbook about this. It shouldn't be okay for my teacher to know about my sex life, no matter how fictional it may be. Speaking of which, where is Jace? I turn and find that he's sitting two rows away, already working with a partner. I try my hardest to ignore the disappointment I feel because he didn't sit closer, and the relief from seeing him paired up with a guy. Ugh. I put my head on the cold desk. I feel so dizzy.

"You okay there, Clary?" Jordan asks cautiously as he reaches out to give my shoulder a small tug.

"Hmm?" I say as I turn to him. He looks like he thinks I'm about to either blow chunks or grow a second head. "I'm fine Jordan, I just—" I'm interrupted by a loud cough. Both Jordan and I turn toward the source and we see Jace standing before us, eyeing us with an amused expression. I look up at him in mild shock, my mouth half open from talking to Jordan.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." He doesn't look sorry at all. "But I seem to have misplaced my only pen, and I happen to know my _good friend_ Clary always carries copious amounts of pencils." He's leaning on the empty desk behind me, his arms casually crossed over his chest. The tone in his voice when he calls me his good friend doesn't go unnoticed. What is he doing? Does he want Imogen to tease us relentlessly? I quickly turn to see that our teacher isn't even in the room. So that's why he's over here. Game on, Wayland.

I turn back, smirk at him and lift a brow amusedly. "Well, I'm sure I can find something to fit your needs, Wayland." What am I doing? Things are supposed to be awkward, but all I can do is go back to how I've always been with him. A shameless flirt. It's like I'm on auto-pilot and can't control what I say when I'm around him.

His smirk widens. "I'm sure you can, Morgenstern."

I stand up and never break eye contact with Jace. The shoes add some height, but he still has to look down at me. Standing in front of him, I reach over to my bag on the desk behind him. I make sure to stand as close as possible without actually touching him as I reach into my bag, and I can feel his breathing falter as it grazes my ear.

I bite my lip as I look up at him from under my lashes. "I know just what you need," I whisper to him.

His Adam's apple bobs. "And what is that?" he whispers back.

I smile as I hold up a pencil. "What you came here for." He isn't looking at the pencil though, his eyes are on my lips. We hear a snap and what sounds like a slam against the desk behind us and I jump in surprise, letting out a squeak.

"Hey doll face, you think you can spare your partner a pencil too? I seem to have destroyed mine," Jordan says from his desk. The tone in his voice seems off. I look back at Jordan and find him looking at his phone and his broken pencil now sits next to his other hand which is balled in a fist.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion and concern. I've never seen Jordan be anything but confident, flirtatious, and playful. I walk over to him and grow extremely nervous for what I'm about to do, the thought of any contact with Jordan always sends my nerves into a frenzy. I put a hand on his shoulder as I nervously tug at my curls with my other hand, making sure not to stab my eye out with the pencil it's holding.

"Sure thing, Kyle. Anything for my partner." My voice has adapted a much gentler tone than the playful one I use with Jace. He looks up at me, like he's just been broken from a trance. Jordan gives me a sad smile that doesn't reach his eyes. I call him by his last name at work when we joke around, and by the look in his eyes I can tell he appreciates the gesture.

I turn back at Jace and hand him the pencil in my hand. I'm about to say something when I catch the look in his eyes and I'm taken aback. I can't place this expression because he's never looked at me like this. I thinks it's... jealousy? Or maybe he's just annoyed with me, though I can't imagine what I could've done. Before I can even speak, he walks off and mutters a thanks. I stand there, blinking. What the heck?

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><p><em>I'm so happy 'cause today<em>

_I've found my friends ... They're in my head_

_ I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you ... _

_We've broken our mirrors _

_Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ... _

_And I'm not scared _

_Light my candles, in a daze _

_'Cause I've found God_

I'm listening to music as I sit in the courtyard eating my lunch. Mmmm. Mustard dipped egg rolls. It's something Simon got me to try as a dare last year, and now it's my favorite thing to eat at school. It's not weird. I'm alone, which is a first for me. I was attached at the hip to Seb last year. Having the same lunch saved me from having to walk around awkwardly finding someone—anyone to sit with. For some reason, my biggest fear used to be that I might have to sit alone at lunch. But after everything I've been through, I have severely cut down the amount of people I am comfortable with, and isolation is quite comforting to me now. It's the first day of school and Izzy is no where to be seen. In fact, no one is around. Izzy had to meet with the dance committee during lunch. They're already planning a homecoming dance; figures. Simon had to help a teacher with tutoring and Magnus and Alec thrive off the type of privacy they can find during 6th period lunch. My brother on the other hand was hovering over me the second we met up for lunch, but I convinced him that solitude is the best thing I need right now. He was hesitant at first, but eventually let me have my space. He's inside hitting on some cheerleader now, as per usual.

As I continue singing along to what seems to be my mantra for the day, I look around the courtyard and find Maia. I have to bite back the bitter jealousy I feel when I see her. The worst part is that she's super nice to me, which makes it really hard to hate her. I'm absentmindedly observing her when I see a boy who isn't Jordan sit a bit too close and start messing with her hair, and Maia grins back at him. Where's Jordan? He must not have this lunch. That's the thing about them, they've both always been pretty flirtatious with others. I've never understood it because if Jordan was my man... hot damn. I know I wouldn't want him flirting with anyone else and I certainly wouldn't either. But hey, to each their own, I guess. There's always been rumors that they've got a semi-open relationship, whatever that means. I've even heard they've had a threesome, that's been the most interesting rumor to date. I realize I'm still staring in Maia's direction when one of my headphones is pulled out of my ear and I feel someone sit next to me. I involuntarily stiffen. I know who it is, and I honestly thought I would be able to avoid him for the rest of the day. Now it turns out we've got lunch together. I can't just get up and walk away. I've avoided him long enough. I knew I would have to face him sooner of later, but I was hoping for the latter. Honestly, I'm surprised this is already happening on the first day. Especially since I seemed to have pissed him off earlier.

"Yes, of course you can listen to my music Jace." I deadpan, my eyes are now downcast as I fiddle with my iPod. I will not bring it up. I will not be the one to say it. Why is he here, dammit?

"I can always count on you to put me in a chipper mood with the inspirational music you listen to," he says as he leans against the wall. My headphone is now in his ear.

"What do you want?" I turn to look at him. It takes me a second to realize how hostile that sounded. It was just an attempt to control my voice from sounding so shaky.

If he noticed my harsh tone he simply chose to ignore it, or it fueled his amusement. He turns to look at me, his eyes unwavering. "That depends Clarissa. In what context? In the grand scheme of things? Out of my high school experience as a whole?"

I'm sitting here trying to cope with the fact that his cousin, who thinks Jace and I had... you know, is our teacher and we are both stuck with her for the same period for the next 9 months. Yet, he seems to be completely unaffected. Knowing Jace, it's probably amusing to him. What a freaking jerk. Then he comes and makes jokes? He must have a death wish. That's the only logical explanation.

"You think you're hilarious don't you? Do you really think I'm in the mood for this? I've done nothing but avoid drama all summer and now it's like I'm facing everything I avoided all at once. How the heck is that even possible!? You, Jordan, and Imogen _freaking_ Herondale all in one classroom." Oops. Did I just admit to avoiding him? Did I really? Way to not make it weird, Morgenstern. I internally grimace.

His jaw visibly tenses and I notice him playing with a lighter. Hmm. He must be smoking again. Every few weeks he tries quitting, but usually gives in due to stress—i.e. Kaelie. "What's got you so pissy?" he asks, keeping his gaze away from mine.

"What's got me—are you serious? People already think I'm pathetic enough because of Sebastian and now I've got a teacher, who's a personal friend on top of that, thinking I'm a slut. I was so stupid thinking I could pretend it never happened. Deluding myself into believing Imogen might never think of it ever again. But then you, out of the entire junior class, walk into class and now there's no way she won't remember it every time she sees us together, which I can't avoid anymore. Maybe I was able to pull it off all summer, but now we'll be together every day for the next 9 months." I turn to look at him and he's staring at me wide eyed like he can't believe I just went off on him like that. I certainly cannot believe he got me to open up to him about it, much less be so honest. But above it all and much to my dismay, I can't believe how much I like saying and knowing that we will be together.

"Are you really that embarrassed to be seen with me?" Jace asks as he continues staring at me wide eyed. Oh no, we are not having this conversation. Nope. This is relationship type drama. I won't even engage in it. I turn away and let out a frustrated sigh. He looks hurt and I genuinely feel bad, but I just don't want to deal with this at all. Should I just get up and walk away? God, I want to, so badly. But I just can't. This is Jace. We've never been super close, but when we do interact he's open, honest, and genuine. He's cool as hell, and one of the realest guys I've ever met. I pinch the bridge of my nose. Why are boys so complicated?

"Of course not, Jace. I'm just... I just... don't know. I'm not good at this. Expressing myself. It's barely the first day of school and I already feel like I've put my foot in my mouth so many times. I feel like drama just follows me wherever I go, and the longer I avoid it, the worst it ends up for me in the long run. Don't you feel that way sometimes? Like there's something right in front of you and you can't help but run away from it because it's just too damn much to deal with, and in the end you just wind up running straight into it?"

I look back at him, frustration emanating from my eyes. Jace's expression is so deep, like he sees something that I don't. It's like he knows something that's so obvious, so evident, that I'm an idiot for missing it. All I know is that I can't stand the look he's giving me.

"You have no idea." He says as his gaze continues to paralyze me.

I've suddenly forgotten how to function. Jace leans toward me, "Breathe, Clary..." he whispers and smirks in that sexy way that has haunted my thoughts since our date.

I blink. What a douche. How does he manage to have this affect on me? Ugh. I grab a fry and throw it at him.

Jace chuckles. "What was that for?" He reaches over my lap and grabs a fry. Leaning back he reaches up as if to eat it only to throw it at me. I gasp as it hits my face and he laughs. I want to be mad at Jace, but when I glare at him I can't hide my smile.

"You jerk," I say as I reach for his lighter and manage it take it from him.

"Oh Clary. You sure you wanna do that?" Jace says in a challenging tone. I gulp as I try to ignore the butterflies that flare in my stomach at seeing the determination in his eyes.

The hand that holds his lighter is outstretched in the opposite direction of where he sits; my other hand is pressed against his chest, my palm spread out and lightly pushing him away. When I touch him I feel a spark spread from my fingers to my arm and all throughout my body. I think he feels it too because we both look at my hand on his chest. I faintly register the close proximity we find ourselves in and I gulp as I lift my gaze to his again. I'm about to give the lighter back to him when he lunges at me. I squeal, close my eyes and curl myself around him. My arms are wrapped around his neck and my head is tucked into the crook of his neck. I feel like the room spins and I open my eyes to find us on the floor, and I'm on top of him. This is oddly familiar, I think to myself smugly. I ignore the catcalls and whistles as I look down at him and he smirks up at me.

Jace holds up the lighter as his eye gleam. "Got it," he says.

I keep looking down at him, my eyes searching his. God, not now. I feel a familiar churn in my stomach. This is exactly why I avoided Jace. Every time I see those eyes, lips, and long fingers... I just can't help but remember feeling them on me. Feeling his hot breath all over me as his lips traced every curve of my neck and chest. His fingers made me unwind in ways I never thought possible. Kissing him was a whole other experience in itself. It was as if I had been gasping for air my whole life and Jace was the only source for me to breathe. We are still staring at each other and I feel my face slowly heating from the sensation of being molded to him again.

I can't stand this, I have to break the silence. "Wheres Kaelie?" Yes, thank you brain. That's very helpful. Go on, ask for that skank instead of reminding me how to move, you know, so I can get off of him. I feel Jace shifting under me and that snaps me out of my daze. I jump away from him, my hands smoothing out my skirt, and I ignore my body's positive reaction to being so close to him. He sits up and I see him visibly swallow. Jace looks completely thrown off by my question, and understandably so. I still don't know why she was the first thing that came to my mind but it served its purpose either way. He scoots back to the wall and is now sitting on my left side. Jace looks down at his hands; which are slowly peeling off the lighter's label. He's upset. I should've known, that's usually the reason he comes to me. I'm surprised he did it considering I've avoided him like the plague the last few weeks.

"Kaelie... she's..." He sighs, "... She left." Of course. Another fight where she decided to ditch school and probably hook up with someone else. Skank-face. I don't say anything else, because he doesn't want to talk about it. Everyone always lectures him about her, it's stupid to talk about it when I know he's gonna keep going back to her until he's finally ready to leave her on his own. Also, he appreciates the silence. Every time he's upset and overwhelmed by the rest of his friends he comes to me and we silently listen to my music. It doesn't happen often, I don't rank very high on his list of friends, so I know that when he comes to me... it's just all too much for him. He needs silence.

I wanted to be as unpleasant as possible to get rid of him, but I've always had a soft spot for Jace. Especially when it comes to good ol' Kaelie. She's a gem, that one.

I'm lost in thought when I become aware of his hand in my hair. He's winding a curl around his finger and staring at it. "You dyed your hair." He says as he continues examining the blonde curl, his eyebrows are drawn together, a crease forming between them. I want to smooth it out, fell his skin under my fingertips.

"Jon always says I'm a blonde at heart. I guess it's finally starting to show..."

He chuckles and our eyes find each other again. His knuckles are grazing my cheek and I stiffen. "Jace, what are you—"

_I called her on the phone and she touched herself, _

_She touched herself, she touched herself._

_ I laughed myself to sleep. _

My phone interrupted whatever it is that was going on. Clearly, I don't even know what's happening between us anymore. All I do know is that I've never been so happy to hear _Say Anything_ before in my life. I grab my phone and silently thank God for whoever decided to text me. I choose to ignore Jace's look of amusement at my taste in ringtones. It's a good song, and I've always loved being that person who's phone goes off at the worst possible time with the most awkward ringtone. I read my new message:

**Izzy: SK alert. Just saw her leaving. She's with Aline... again. **

SK is short for Slutty Kaelie. We use it when Jace and her fight, because she always uses her body as a way of lashing out at him. Granted, in my opinion, she's always like this, so I always call her SK.

I curse under my breath as I type a quick response. Jace doesn't need this crap right now.

**Clary: Figured as much, J is with me. Music therapy, once again. **

**Izzy: I doubt that's the only kind of therapy he needs ;) ... **

Dammit, Izzy. Telling her about our hookup this summer has proved to be nothing more than ammo for making me uncomfortable. I mean, that's her cousin. It's just weird...

**Clary: Get bent...**

**Izzy: Get bent? You need to lay off That 70's Show.. **

** Clary: *Gasp* Never say such things. Gotta go, talk later. **

"Was that Jordan?" Jace asks as I shove my phone in my jacket pocket. Wait, what?

"Jordan? Why would it be him? I don't even—"

"Never mind, just drop it."

"No. Now, why would you think that? Answer me honestly, J."

He looks at me and arches a perfectly golden eyebrow. "Ok, Clare. I just figured that you were already close enough since you work together, and with him newly single—" I don't give him a chance to finish because at that precise moment I choke on my water and spit it out. I gasp and fan the air in front of me as I try to regain composure.

"What did you just say?"

"You mean, he didn't tell you?"

"Well, I haven't seen him at all for a long while. Today was the first time in a few weeks, actually." I turn to look at Maia again, and she looks completely unaffected. Wow. She was with him for several years and she just looks so... together. I find myself envying her more. Especially because I know they'll probably kiss and makeup soon enough. I really want to hate her. I absentmindedly rub my tongue piercing against the roof of my mouth; a habit I've developed lately.

"Well, this has been fun and all but I've got places to be," I say as I slowly rise to my feet, dusting my palms off and smoothing out my skirt. It's only 6th period and I'm already so over school for today, if I don't leave right now I will lose it for sure. Considering my last class is an off period, I'll only be missing one class after this so leaving won't be so bad. Not that it would have even stopped me from ditching in the first place. I used to be devoted to never missing class. Now here I am, one heartbreak later and skipping on the first day. Boys ruined me...well one boy in particular, whatever.

"Where are you going?" Jace asks, sounding a bit confused.

"Not sure. Give Jon a ride home for me will ya?" I say to him as I walk away, leaving him surprised. He knows this isn't like me. I hate feeling this way. I used to enjoy school and now I can't wait until the day ends. I know it's only the first day, but it feels like it's been a whole damn week. Everyone else is excited to be back for their own reasons and I don't want to be a downer. I did enough of that this summer.

* * *

><p>I'm opening my car door when a hand slams against it, closing it again. "What the hell?" I turn and see Jace looking down at me. "May I help you?" I say as I cross my arms.<p>

He smirks at me. "Skipping on the first day already Clarissa? I'm a little impressed. Who have you been hanging out with lately? They're a bad influence..."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh, just some kid at the beginning of summer, he was something else..."

His eyes gleam as he keeps looking down at me. "Well, I'd better get going then," I say as I turn back around to get in my car and I freeze when I feel his hands grip both sides of my waist.

"What are you doing?" Jace asks, amusement evident in his voice.

"Getting in my car. That is what I need to do in order to leave, after all." I deadpan.

His grip on my waist tightens. "Not if you're riding with me."

I'm thankful my back is to him, so he can't see me blushing. "Didn't I just ask you to give Jon a ride home?" I can't find a good enough reason to stop this from happening. As much as I've avoided him, I can't find it in me to stay away at this point.

"You know he can just take your car home. C'mon, ditching class isn't fun when you do it alone. Let me kidnap you for a few hours," he says in a mildly seductive way. He knows exactly what he's doing to me.

I close my eyes as I sigh and bite my lip. He can make me do anything when he uses that tone. My back is still to him and I just want the floor to swallow me whole. He's just too much. My phone buzzes. Another text.

**Izzy: If you don't leave with my cousin right now I swear I will go out there myself. So help me God. **

How the heck? Does this girl have eyes everywhere? My phone buzzes again.

**Izzy: You know you want to spend time with him after a long summer of boy detoxing ;) Also, Kaelie is gonna flip when she finds out you and Jace ditched together...**

I smile. Kaelie is literally the bane of my existence and I want to piss her off for hooking up with Aline again. The fact that she hates it when Jace and I hang out only adds fuel to my fire and any chance to piss her off is a win for me.

"Fine," I say. His hands are still on my waist. I spin around and lock my arms around his neck, "Don't make me regret going with you, J." I smirk at him.

His smile widens. "Have I ever let you down? Last time you said that to me I recall winning a stuffed Pikachu for you at the end of the day. You know, the one you kept staring at the whole time."

I playfully slap his shoulder and laugh. "Hey, I seem to remember winning won you a stuffed unicorn. I mean, I was trying to get the dragon but the intent was clear."

"You were aiming for the duck, because you are an evil woman." Jace retorts and shivers, his hold on my waist tightens.

I scoff. "I still don't get that. I mean what could ducks do to a human? What an irrational fear.."

"They are traitorous, blood sucking beasts. Never trust a duck." He says venemously. I throw my head back in laughter as my arms remain locked around his neck. Jace smiles down at me, as his thumbs rub circles on my hips. I gulp at the sensation it brings me. "So, are we actually going to ditch this place or not?" I say as I pull away from him.

Jace blinks and turns to look at me, "Uh, yeah. Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Jon: It's only the first day and you already ditched me? What happened to "I need to be alone"? I'd be pissed if you hadn't left me the car. I'll use my spare key. Thanks. Tell Jace what's up. We're talking about this when you get home.<strong>

I roll my eyes at my brother's text, but he's just as bad as Izzy. "Jon says you're an idiot," I say to Jace and he chucks a pillow at me in response. "Fine, he says, 'What's up?'"

"Tell Jon I kidnapped his sister to have my way with her." I blush at this and chuck the pillow back at him.

The way those words made me feel is extremely alarming. But considering I ditched school with him and we're alone, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. Jace has an affect on me— one I've been avoiding all summer and frankly I'm starting to get tired of running from it.

_Black hole sun _

_Won't you come _

_And wash away the rain _

_Black hole sun _

_Won't you come _

_Won't you come_

The music plays in the background, as I lay on his futon and he plays on his Xbox.

"You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say you're trying to woo me. Chris Cornell singing, video games, and pizza. My dream come true..."

Jace pauses his game and turns his swivel chair in my direction. "I'm just trying to be a good host. We've been listening to Blink 182 for the past hour, and I've been playing for a good while instead of entertaining my guest."

"You know I don't mind you playing. If it were my house, the roles would probably be switched right now. Besides, when I'm upset I usually like to play a game or two and listen to my favorite music. So, I get it."

He stares at me for what feels like an eternity. I start to squirm under his gaze.

"So," I say, desperate to turn the attention away from me, "is this where you spent all your summer? I mean, it's a pretty cool man cave you've got going. Meliorn is a pretty rad boss for letting you have one of these rooms. Speaking of which, where is he? Will he mind me being here?"

He blinks, shuts off his game, and starts to spin from side to side in his chair. He's throwing some type of engine piece in the air and catching it repeatedly. I asked him earlier what it was and he called it a fuel inject or inlet, or whatever. Boys and their toys, I swear. "Yeah, I spent most of my summer here. The rest I spent with Alec. We got a lot closer this summer. I was always at his house. Not that you would know, since you fell off the grid this summer." He smirks as I roll my eyes at him. "But Mel's a pretty cool guy. I've learned everything about mechanics from him. I spent so much time here that he would often find me at 1 AM working on a carburetor or something. Eventually he told me to just pick a room since I was always here. And no, he won't mind if you're here. I'm off the clock and I'm sure he'd like you anyway."

I raise an inquiring eyebrow at him. "You're sure he'd like me? Why is that?"

We hear a motorcycle approaching and the engine's roars are muffled since we're inside and suddenly the noise just shuts off.

Jace grins, "That's Mel. Guess you'll be meeting him sooner rather than later.."

He stands and wipes his hands against his jeans. I rise to stand next to him. I know Jace enough to recognize his tells. He's nervous. I just don't get why. I'm about to ask what's wrong when a tall beautiful man walks into the room. Hot damn.

I'm assuming this is Meliorn, and I find myself wishing I had car trouble. This has got to be the sexiest mechanic in existence. He's tall— even taller than Jace, who stands a good foot higher than me. He's got long black hair that flows below his shoulders and beautiful green eyes. They remind me of the summer leaves, so vibrant and full of life. Ironically, he's got a leaf tattooed below one of his eyes. I've always thought facial tattoos were tacky, but for some reason this man just makes it look sexy as hell. My jaw has probably found purchase on the floor.

"Hey Jace, what's up, my man?" he says, and I realize that I momentarily forgot that I wasn't alone. Oops. I blink a few times and find the strength to close my mouth.

The boys do a weird guy handshake and then pat each other on the back. Magnus was so right about guys and their weird greeting rituals.

"You're not working today, are you?" asks Sexy Mel.

"Nah. I'm off today." says Jace. He clears his throat and I tear my eyes away from Sexy Mel to look at him.

"Mel. This is—"

"You must be Clary," Mel interrupts. He knows me? This fine specimen of a man knows me? Wait, how?

"Uhh... yeah. I'm Clary." I extend my hand to shake his and he takes it and brings it up to his lips. I gulp as I watch him kiss the back of my hand. I'm pretty sure I just turned tomato red.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Clary, I've heard so much about you."

He has? I look at Jace But he's actively avoiding my gaze. Ok? I don't know what else to do except go with it. I don't want to be rude. "All good things I hope," I say as I smile at him.

His smile widens, "Oh Clary, if you only knew—"

"Alright Mel, that's enough. You've had your fun," Jace says. He sounds more than annoyed at this point. I'm loving every bit of it. It's not often that you see someone get under Jace Wayland's skin the way Sexy Mel is managing to right now.

Mel puts his hands up in surrender and chuckles. "Okay, okay, I was just getting acquainted with your girlfriend."

I choke. "I'm not his girlfriend," I half yell at the same time that Jace says, "I'm with Kaelie." Mel lifts both eyebrows in amusement.

"I'm Clary not Kaelie," I say, because I'm thinking he probably confused me for her from the beginning. Our names are disastrously similar.

"I know who you are. My comment still stands. I've met Kaelie and she's far from girlfriend material."

I laugh at that because he's so right and Jace yells, "Hey!"

"What? I'm only being honest. I can't help it if the truth is detestably offensive, and the truth is that girl is like an all you can eat buffet. Lord only knows how many people have sampled from it." I'm rolling. I've doubled over in laughter. No one has ever been this blunt with Jace— not that I know of at least. I look at him and am surprised to see him shaking his head at Mel disapprovingly, and terribly failing to hide his smile.

"You're right, Jace. She's got a beautiful laugh." This gets me to stop.

I straighten back up and raise an eyebrow at Jace. "You said what?"

Jace is pinching the bridge of his nose. "Mel thrives off creating awkward moments, don't listen to him," he says as he gives Sexy Mel a pointed look.

I shrug the entire thing off because I'm not even sure I heard right at this point. "Okay," I say to Jace.

Mel flashes me an amused smile. "You're a really laid back chick. You know that, Clary?"

I smile and decide to mess with him. "Oh, you know. Some people just walk in the light..." I say as I flip my hair and bat my eye lashes.

Mel's smile widens as his shoulders shake from laughter. "I like her. Please keep her around," he says to Jace, whose looking at me appreciatively.

"I'll think about it," says Jace and I slap his shoulder in response.

"Well, I've got to go to the front. I got called in last minute for a Volvo that needs servicing," Mel says as he walks out of the room. I involuntarily shiver. Will drives a Volvo, so I've got some residual trauma at the sight of that car, even if it isn't his.

Unfortunately for me, Jace notices. "Im sorry, are you cold? I should've asked earlier."

"No, no. It isn't that at all. I just... Will Herondale drives a car like that and he gives me the creeps in the worst way."

"Oh, you mean Sebastian's best friend? Yeah, that guy always followed you around like a love struck puppy."

"It's ironic that he drives at Volvo, because everything about him reminds me of Edward Cullen, minus the glittery skin," I say and Jace chuckles. "I wish I was joking. But I firmly believe that if given the chance, he would stand in my room and watch me sleep..." I shiver again.

"He sounds charming," Jace says as he grins at me.

It's at this moment that Mel yells for Jace from the other room and we both follow his voice. As we turn the corner we see that the car has arrived and the hood is up.

"Hey, I've gotta go talk to the owner real quick, will you two just sit here and watch the car for me?"

Jace and I look at each other and I shrug at him. "Sure Mel," Jace says as he continues looking at me.

Once Mel leaves Jace turns on the shop's sound system and we start listening to music again. He closes the hood of the car and I don't hesitate to jump onto it. I'm sitting on the side of the hood as Jace examines the bottom of the car. I've stopped paying attention to my surroundings when I hear a whistle from below. I look down and see Jace peaking his head out from under the car and he's looking up my skirt.

"Jace!" I yell and cross my legs.

He laughs and scoots out from under the car. He stands and stretches his arms up and I can't help but watch the way his skin moves along the muscles that peak out from under his shirt. I can see his V line and I tilt my head sideways as I shamelessly enjoy the view.

"Oh, so you can check me out and it's fine, but I can't?" Jace says.

"Whatever, I only did it because you started it," I say, crossing my arms.

"Why are you so shy with me? It's not like what I just saw is new to me. I have seen it before. Besides, you've never been shy with me," he says in a low voice as he slowly walks toward me, his eyes are slowly darkening.

I'm sure I just turned as red as a tomato, again. My hands grip the edge of the hood I'm still sitting on. "Me? Shy? I don't know what you mean. Just because I'm not ok with you looking up my skirt means I'm being shy? And about what happened... we were drunk, Jace. I barely remember any of it." I try to sound convincing, and my eyes are now staring at his chest, actively avoiding his intense stare.

He chuckles. "Then why won't you look at me?" he says as he continues closing the distance between us.

"Jace..." I say in a warning tone. If he gets too close I can't promise self control.

"Clary..." he says and he places both hands on either side of my body, effectively trapping me in a cage of his arms. I scoot back, trying to put distance between us.

He leans in, brushes his lips to my ear and whispers, "I don't believe you. You know why? Because I haven't stopped thinking about it. I can't. Believe me, I've tried everything to forget."

I fail to hold back another shiver as my hands come up to grip his biceps. My breathing is a bit labored.

"You avoided me all summer. You avoided this, but you can't anymore. You've got to face this. It's driving me crazy, Clary," he says into my ear.

"Jace, I told you already. I was drunk and I... I wasn't thinking. I was just... I was just..." I swallow because I can't focus when his hands are on my hips, when his thumbs are lifting my shirt so he can rub circles on my bare skin.

"You were just what, Clary?" he asks, turning his face toward mine. Our lips are inches apart. I breathe and I know he feels it against his lips. "I told you it was a crazy night for me. I avoided you because... because I was ashamed for not remembering anything. I couldn't face you knowing I had no recollection of the night." Lies, all lies. I haven't forgotten a damn thing. But he can't know that.

The gleam in his eyes changes. It's like a camera lens changing its focus. "You mean to tell me you don't remember how it felt when I touched you," he says in a low voice, as his fingertips trail from my temple, down my cheek, and finally to my collarbone, "like this?"

"No..." I breath.

"Or when I," his nose traces my jaw and slowly makes it's way down to my neck. He breathes against my sensitive skin and it sends a wave of chills down my spine, "did this."

I let out a loud breath as I close my eyes. "Jace..." I say and it sounds more like a plead than anything else. My hands are now at his chest, clutching his shirt tightly.

He starts kissing my neck and just like the night of our date, it willingly cranes for him. I let out a sound of approval. His hands are pressing against my bare skin, his mouth against my neck. He suddenly pulls me straight into him and my legs automatically wrap around his waist. I gasp and he groans as I come into contact with the hard bulge in his jeans.

"So all in all I think your car should be ready by—"

Both our heads snap toward the approaching voice, our eyes dark with lust and wide with shock. We don't jump away from each other, we're too stunned to do anything except hold onto each other and stare at the two people who just walked in on us.

Jace is looking at Meliorn, who is smirking back at him, while I find myself looking straight into Will Herondale's eyes.

Yep. I love my life...

* * *

><p><strong>Who else saw ANY of that coming? Will just refuses to go away...<strong>

**So yeah...I was absent for a month. I am eternally and epically sorry! I HATED doing this to all of you! This month just breezed by and life got in the way. It is a direct result of sleepless nights, preparing for a cheer competition (my daughter's team took 1st!), making a last minute Ash Ketchum costume to match my daughter's pikachu Halloween costume (because I waited too long to order one online), and an unexpected addiction to The Vampire Diaries. I literally binged on TVD. I got through 4 seasons in less than a month... I don't even know how I managed that. Procrastination is my downfall...**

****Quick question, who else is counting down the days until The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 comes out? I know I am! ****

**Special shoutouts to all my reviewers and followers. I am beyond grateful to you all for your continued support. Also a shout out SpikeyHairGood, my musical kindred spirit. She has two TMI fics and I HIGHLY recommend them to you all! Especially to the music lovers out there.**

**My author shoutout this time around is for simplymoshingintomordor. Those of you who have read a good amount of TMI fics have most likely read Battle of The Bands. It is hands down the funniest TMI fic out there. I fell in love with her versions of Valentine and Jonathan Morgenstern. They are amazing, especially Valentine. I wish I was Swiss just for you Val! She has a new fic, A Tale of Two, in progress...go check it out! **

**I just wanted to tell you guys that one of the major reasons I didn't update sooner is because I really take my writing to heart, and I don't want to post anything that I don't firmly believe in. I am one of those people who believe that her characters guide her in the story telling process. I wrote until I reached a point where I felt that I expressed what needed to happen in this chapter. I want to give you guys the best of my abilities for this story.**

**The lyrics referenced in this chapter belong to Nirvana, Say Anything, and Soundgarden respectively. No copyright infringement intended. **

**Until next time, my lovelies! – DeathCabForMari **


	4. Being honest is hard to do – Ch 4

**A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!**** Can I just say that time **_**really **_**got away from me? Life happened, as it seems to have been doing so every time I want to update. I'm eternally sorry you guys, I really don't like having such a terribly long gap in between updates. There **_**is **_**good news though! The following chapter is already completed! It just needs to be beta'd. So that one should be up by next week. I've also started working on the chapter that follows after. If you want to read more from me before then, I have a one-shot up! It's called How To Properly Fall For Your Best Friend's Sister.**

**Fair warning: yes, this chapter is noticeably shorter than the previous ones. I was forced to cut the chapter in half or it would've been too long. The upside is you will be getting an update again in the next week!**

**Thank you to ****rippingbutterflywings**** for beta-ing this chapter!**

****Disclaimer: I only own the storyline; the TMI characters belong to Cassie Clare. I simply borrow them for my own scheming purposes. All rights go to their respective owner.****

****More AN at the bottom. PLEASE READ****

**Chapter Songs:**

**Somebody Told Me – The Killers (Clary & Jace vs. Will) **

**House of Cards – Radiohead (Clary & Jace in his truck)**

**I'm Not Calling You A Liar – Florence and The Machine (Clary talking to her parents)**

**Won't Go Quietly – Company of Thieves (Clary talks to Luke)**

* * *

><p>When Simon and I were kids, our time together usually consisted of me riding in circles around him on my skateboard, while he had his nose buried in a comic book.<p>

When we were 12, we decided that we needed to be in a relationship because everyone else was in one and it only made sense, since we were best friends and spent all of our free time together, that it would be with each other. It was because of this that Simon decided to try and impress me by letting me teach him to skate. He ended up crashing into Mrs. Blackthorn's rose bushes—and he didn't just stumble into them; he dove straight in.

We ended up in the ER because he had a severe reaction to being pricked all over by rose thorns. I rode in the ambulance with him and watched as the paramedics attended him while he sat there, smiling at me in a comforting way. I was so angry the whole ride there that all I could do was cry, because I wasn't the only one who saw it happen. Mrs. Blackthorn was there, and, as if that wasn't bad enough, Helen Blackthorn was there too, with her "best friend" Aline—the two were actually dating, but were closeted at the time. When Simon was rolling around on the ground in pain from the fall and the thorns, Aline and Helen were doing the same, but their pain was from doubling over in laughter. From that day forward, I hated them both for laughing at Simon.

"As Douglas Englebart put it, 'the rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.'" That was all Simon could say as he looked at me with a goofy smile on his bandaged face; his glasses hung so crookedly on the bridge of his nose that he had to push them up with his index finger as he spoke.

I never forgot those words, because they defined Simon flawlessly. Also, a part of me hoped it was true because I was also prone to major embarrassment, and this theory made it all seem worthwhile for me in the long run.

So that's what's currently going through my mind as I sit here, on the hood of Will Herondale's Volvo, clinging to Jace for dear life. The amount of embarrassment I'm feeling should have already made me mature by at least ten years. We're both still staring at the two intruders, and Jace's hands tighten around my waist—he's now involved in a stare-down with Will.

"I certainly hope you're not this generous with all your friends, bud," Mel says, throwing Jace's words from earlier back at him. Confusion is clearly evident in his eyes as they dart between Jace and Will, but he carries on. "That's also not exactly what I meant when I asked you two to take care of the car," he continues as he stares at the hood of the car, a single eyebrow raised at me straddling Jace while sitting on Will's Volvo.

"Oh!" I gasp as I feel my already-scarlet cheeks burn an even deeper red. I begin to shuffle my hips so I can jump off when Jace lifts me from the car and gently sets me down next to him. He kisses my temple and puts his arm around me.

I momentarily stiffen, but, before I can ask what he's doing, Jace says, "Shit, man, I'm sorry. _My girl_ and I got a little carried away; you know how it is." He smirks and winks. His girl? My stomach explodes with a swarm of butterflies—what? Where did that come from? I realize I'm attracted to him; I mean, that's a given. But since when did I even start liking the idea of ever being his girlfriend? Stupid Jace Wayland. Why does he do this to me? He's with Kaelie. They may have "broken up" from the fight they had today, but that won't last. He's made it clear to everyone that he's not leaving her, and she's done some really messed up things to him. Besides, the last thing I need right now is to be someone's girlfriend. I don't want to get too close to any boy; it'll just mess things up. I open my mouth to protest, but I catch the look of determination that he's giving Will and realization hits me. He wants Will to believe we're dating. My irritation turns to relief. Jace is my savior right now, and I could seriously kiss him. I almost totally did just now, before we got interrupted, but that's beside the point.

I snake my arm around his waist and tighten my grip. "Yeah, I'm sorry," I say, sounding as embarrassed as I truly feel while I look at Mel and his smug expression.

"Don't apologize to me, Clary. He's the one whose car you nearly desecrated." Mel thrusts his thumb towards Will, who's looking at me expectantly.

I open my mouth to speak, but Jace beats me to the punch. "I'm sorry, man, it was totally my fault. I love making out with my girl on cars; it's a weird fetish. You understand, right?"

I slap his shoulder. "Jace!" I whisper-yell, and give him a pointed look.

Jace chuckles. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm being a total dick. Still thinking with the wrong head."

Oh my god. I facepalm as I draw my arm back from around his waist so I can jab him in the ribs with my elbow. I'm blushing so hard. Jace winces as my bony elbow delivers a blow to his ribs, and I grin. One point for me.

Mel seems to be enjoying the show. How professional. Isn't he afraid of losing a customer? He pats Will's shoulder and grips it as he chuckles "Will, my man, I'm totally giving you a discount now. We'll figure something out, I can assure you that. Anyway, you know Jace." He nods toward Jace, and the look in his eyes indicates that he's clearly trying to diffuse the tension. In fact, it's almost like he's discretely holding back Will with his hand. Mel's eyes land on me as he speaks. "And that's—"

"My _girlfriend_, Clary," Jace cuts in.

The look on Will's face is one for the books. His eyes are bulged harder than humanly possible and if he locks his jaw any harder he may crack his own teeth—wait. How well does he know Jace? Actually, he seems familiar with Mel too. Is he a frequent customer? Damn, this just got even more awkward...

"Yeah, I know Clary," Will finally speaks, and I feel a wave of guilt in my stomach. He says my name like it's poison in his mouth. His hands are balled into fists at his sides. "She used to date Sebastian. You remember him, right, Jace? Your _friend_?" He sounds extremely judgmental, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable now. I start to nervously rub my tongue piercing to the roof of my mouth as I shift from one foot to the other. Jace's arm is still draped around me, and he gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze as his jaw sets.

He looks so nonchalant as he shrugs, "I remember him. He was in one of my classes but we weren't ever friends. Maybe we chilled every once in a while, but that was it. Oh, wait." Jace uses his other hand to stroke his chin. "He did try selling me weed several times, but I just refuse to corrupt this body"—he gestures to himself—"so I never bought any. I've got to preserve myself for my lady right here," he says as he looks at me.

I haven't stopped looking at Will, though. I feel so confused when I stare into his eyes. It's like when I visited my middle school only to find that half the teachers had been replaced. He's both familiar and foreign to me now. The warmth that once inhabited his eyes when he looked at me seems to have completely dissolved and was replaced by pure uninhibited disgust. I haven't seen him since that day, in his car, when he told be about Sebastian cheating on me. Will represents my past relationship, and he brings back so many unwanted memories. I can't let the past come back; it'll consume me. I visibly swallow and bite my lip under Will's stare, betrayal clear in his eyes. I feel so bad right now, but he just never could take a hint. Mel clearly notices the tension, because he clears his throat and gets both me and Will to look at him.

"Jace, thanks for watching the car, man. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" Mel says.

Jace's jaw muscles tense up. "Yeah, I'm gonna take Clary home. Wouldn't want her getting grounded for breaking curfew. Especially when I've got our hot date planned for this weekend." Dammit, Jace. He's only trying to piss Will off at this point; he hasn't taken his eyes off of him. Not even to reply to Mel. I'm so damn annoyed at him right now; oddly enough I'm also slightly turned on. Definitely not helping my current situation...

"Jace," Mel says in a surprisingly loud and stern voice, "just take Clary home. I'll see you tomorrow."

I tug at Jace's arm. "C'mon. Let's just go." He's still glaring at Will, and I'm getting more nervous by the second. "Jace," I squeeze his arm. He finally turns to look at me, his jaw still set. I turn to look at Will, who looks like he wishes his eyes could shoot lasers at me.

"It was good seeing you again, Will," I nod my head at him in acknowledgment. "Sorry about the car." I pull Jace out of the room.

"I wish I could say the same about seeing _you_," Will says, pretty loudly. That only makes my grip on Jace tighten, and I walk even faster.

* * *

><p>We're pulling up to my house, and Jace has been eerily quiet the whole drive. I actually had to calm him down after we left the shop. It freaked me out how pissed he was at Will–I mean,I get that he was a tool, but this is about something else. It has to be. I look over at him; his eyes are trained ahead. For some reason I can't explain, I lean over and kiss his cheek. It seems to have the effect I want, since he's pulled out of his trance and finally looks at me.<p>

"Those are gonna bruise," I say as I look down at his knuckles, which are gripping the steering wheel, and graze my fingertips along them.

He sighs and closes his eyes as my fingers dance along his skin and his shoulders loosen up. "I'm sorry about losing it back there I just can't stand Will. The way he looks at you like you owe him everything. He's such a creep."

"It's okay, Jace. We all take our anger out in different ways. Yours just happens to be attacking innocent walls".

He chuckles and grabs my hand. I don't know what we're doing here anymore, but I was trying my hardest to ignore where we were going before Meliorn and Will interrupted us back there. "Thank you for today. I just needed to get away and just–just be." He looks up at me from under his golden lashes in a way that makes me weak.

"I'm the one who needed to get the hell out of school. So thank you for taking me to your man-cave. I'm quite honored," I grin. "Well, this is my stop, so I'll see you around, okay?"

His eyes have this expression that I can't place as he looks at me. "Yeah, I'll see you around, Morgenstern. Glad to see you're not avoiding me anymore. I was beginning to think it might be possible that I was a terrible rebound date and you just couldn't face me long enough to tell me."

"Oh my god, shut up, Jace," I look away to hide my blush.

"You held off longer than expected, but no one can resist me forever. It was a noble attempt, though," he says with that cocky smirk of his.

I roll my eyes and shove him in the shoulder. "Good to see you're so humble." I open the passenger door and get out. "Oh, and Jace? I'll be here for you whenever you're ready to talk about the real reason you went psycho on that wall." His smile fades because, as hard as he may try, he's never been able to fool me. I chuckle and walk toward my house.

I'm not even halfway in the door when my mom is rushing at me. "Oh, Clary, I'm so proud of you for starting your school year off with a new attitude!"

I stand there, slightly stunned as she takes me into her arms, and I look over her shoulder only to spot Isabelle sitting cross-legged on the floor with Jon and Luke. She's giving me _the look_ so, whatever it is my mom's going on about, I know I've gotta play along.

"Um, yeah, Mom. I, uh… just wanted a… a fresh start, " I say with an unsure smirk playing my lips.

Izzy coughs, looks at me pointedly and distracts my mom long enough for me to recover, but I'm too busy glaring at Izzy. That's when I finally notice the incense that's burning behind them on the end table by the couch. Wonderful. I'm right on time. Yay. I roll my eyes as my mom pulls me toward everyone else. Ever since we were kids, my mom has forced us to get together every single night for what she likes to call Circle Time. I've told her a thousand times that calling it that makes me feel like a kindergartener, but the name stuck regardless. It's a time when we all sit and share whatever we want, usually about how our day went. It's cheesy and I hate it, but it's my mom's idea of "keeping the lines of communication flowing." She even encourages us to feel like kindergarteners so we can "channel the unfiltered nature of our inner child." I know. Jocelyn Fray-Graymark is crazy. The worst part is that, no matter who comes over, she always makes them join us, and it's beyond embarrassing, but Izzy has become a regularly featured guest, so she just rolls with it now. She also has a thing for Luke, so she's never minded the extra opportunity to ogle at him, and she's not subtle about it. Not in the least.

I walk onto the carpet and plop down next to Jon as my mom sits to my left. She glares at me, and I roll my eyes and kick off my shoes before crossing my legs like everyone else. Another rule for Circle Time: no shoes.

"I was just telling your mom about how you and Jace stayed behind to help with the homecoming flyer design, while I had to go pick up Max from his friend's house and take him home." The tone Izzy uses indicates that I'm supposed to know—or at least pretend to know—what she's talking about. Oh joy.

Despite my desperate need for privacy, I absolutely loathe lying to my mother. Her tactics aren't my favorite, and I often find myself wishing she could just be a normal mom, but the one thing that has always been prevalent with my mother is open lines of communication. Lying to her feels like it's against my nature, and my relationship with Sebastian caused me to do enough of it to last a lifetime. I look at Jon, and he's returning my gaze, eyebrows raised, expectantly. It was his job to cover for me, so it's safe to assume that this was his doing and Izzy probably got roped in when she came over to interrogate me about my hangout with Jace. She texted me saying she'd be waiting for me so I couldn't evade her questions. Talk about quick karma.

"Yeah, I didn't want to be obnoxious about it, but I was at school. I was—" I'm interrupted by my mother, who decides that this is the perfect time to lunge at me and squeeze the life out of me with a hug. I tell her that I can't breathe, but it sounds muffled, and I'm surrounded by the smell of paint, clay, and cinnamon. I feel a euphoric twinge in my gut from the scents that assault me all at once, and it's like a movie reel of my most precious memories replays in my head. I see myself painting with my mom at 5, and then again at 8. I see us having long nights of making clay pots and running around with paint balloons as we throw them against the canvas wall. It's been so long since I let myself feel alive like that.

Finally, my mom loosens her grip and pulls away. "I'm just so glad you're back to drawing, Clary. So what are you thinking of drawing? Do you have a rough sketch made out yet?" My eyebrows shoot up, and I glare at Izzy and Jon. I'm not ready for this.

"Mom, I'm not—"

"—ready. She's not ready to share what the design is—or will be," Jon says from my right. "We're all still brainstorming, and we want to let Clary keep a clear mind about it."

"That's perfectly understandable," Luke finally speaks from my mother's left side. He's off centered from my line of vision, and Izzy sits to his left and across from me—a little to my right. She's seated between him and Jon. It's only the 5 of us tonight, thank Christ. I've only known Luke for a few years, but I already know he's the perfect type of husband any woman could ever ask for. He's been a father to me in ways Valentine couldn't ever be, probably because my relationship with my real dad has never been that deep. I still love him, though. Valentine has shown me his love in his own way, and the fact that he has never stopped trying is something I will always appreciate. Luke is lovingly grinning at me, and I smile back at him. He's so awesome. When I first met him, I developed the hugest crush on him; I was convinced I would marry him. I was also 9, so I was a bit deluded. Finding out he and Mom were engaged pretty much brought me back down to earth.

Luke reaches over, cups my mom's head, and then runs his hand down until it rests on her shoulder, which he lightly squeezes. That gets my mom to turn her gaze to his, and then he traces her cheek with the back of his index finger until it reaches up to catch a rogue strand of hair, which he tucks behind her ear. He smiles at her, and I look away; the intensity of the love both of them exchange with mere looks is too much to bear, and it feels too intimate for anyone other than them to see. Jon is fidgeting with the carpet, also giving them privacy, and Izzy...she has no sense of respect for anyone's privacy. This is evident in the way she's dreamily sighing as she tilts her head sideways, smiles, and continues watching Luke and Mom.

"I think," Luke begins to say, and I have to suppress the dreamy sigh I'm about to emit; the loving and gentle tone he uses when speaking to my mom even affects me,"that Clary should share what she's comfortable with. She's already had Jon and Izzy share enough of her story, because they were involved. We know what we're meant to know about the flyers at this point, baby."

My mom bites her lip—gross— and nods in agreement. She sighs and says, "Okay" in a way that makes her sounds like a love-struck teenager. Mom always gets like that when she's around Luke, and I honestly can't say that I blame her one single bit. She's such a lucky woman, that Jocelyn.

They're still looking into each other's eyes and show no signs of stopping the loving exchange. I cough, and my mom snaps out of her hypnotic trance. She clears her throat and Luke grins charmingly; I mouth a silent _thank you _to him and he nods in response. That was too close, and he just saved me in more ways than he thinks I try to ignore the guilt that ripples through me at the realization that Luke unknowingly helped me lie to both him and my mom.

* * *

><p>"He's just so perfect. Did you see the way he looked at her today? What I would give to have a love like that. It's just not fair that a man that dreamy could ever exist right within our grasp and be so damn unattainable," Izzy says as we lay on my bed face up, our legs resting on the wall while we dry our pedicured toes.<p>

I smack her shoulder. "Gross, Iz. He's my _stepdad_. Plus, he's old enough to actually be my father."

"Don't even pretend that you don't ogle him from time to time like me. A man that gorgeous is just too good to not appreciate," she says as she blows air onto her freshly manicured hands.

I look away from her to hide the blush that's reaching down to my collarbone as I bite my lower lip. "I do not. Besides, there's so much more to him than incredibly good looks." I pause and close my eyes because I know I just proved her point. Izzy chuckles and I roll my eyes so hard I see my brain. I glare at her. "Yes, he's a handsome man, but he's also a really good husband. The way he looks at my mom, like she's the only one in the entire universe, is just such a rare thing to find. I mean, yeah, they had a rocky start, but no love that's worthwhile comes without a fight. I mean"—I lean on my elbow as I lay on my right side and look down at Izzy—"I'm not even sure if love is real anymore, but they are absolutely the exception to that. They went to high school together, and were constantly in and out of each other's lives until they couldn't fight it anymore. I just can't get over that. It's like they were magnets that life kept working to bring back together. Luke watched my mom have a crazy whirlwind romance with Valentine; he was everything she needed him to be, when she needed him to be it. He never stopped loving her, and that is just so insane to me. If they aren't a picture of true love and two people who are meant to be, then I don't know what the hell is."

Izzy is looking up at me with both eyebrows raised. "Well, aren't you the hopeless romantic now, might a certain golden-haired boy have anything to do with this?"

I scoff and lay back down next to her. "Okay, first of all, didn't I just specify that I doubt the actual existence of love now? Second of all, there's nothing to tell other than the fact that we made out once. So what? It was harmless and meaningless." —I try to ignore that it feels like I'm betraying Jace just by saying that— "I'll tell you about me and Jace if you tell me what the hell was up with you this morning before school. Don't think I forgot how you mysteriously blew me off last night for our obligatory end of summer sleepover, and your uncharacteristic choice of wardrobe today."

She scoffs. "Please, child, my wardrobe is always pushing limits, and that's what I did today. People have preconceived expectations of me, and I just felt like going in the opposite direction today. Since when is that uncharacteristic of me?" she actively avoids my gaze while she skims through my latest issue of AP Magazine. "Ugh, don't you have a Cosmo or Vogue somewhere in this house?" Izzy huffs as she suddenly sits up and tosses my magazine aside.

"Hey!" I yell as I rush to recover my unrightfully scorned magazine. "This is a commemorative issue! I had to pre-order this baby just to make sure I would get the one with Andy Biersack on the cover!"

Izzy rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me! You've offended me deeply." I'm now wiping the cover, checking for any damage. Over protective? Maybe. Over dramatic? I think not.

"Don't you have another copy of that same issue?" she asks disinterestedly as she now rifles through her backpack.

"No."

She looks up at me, a single eyebrow raised. Without breaking eye contact, she reaches over to my desk and grabs my other commemorative issue. "What is this then?"

"A completely different issue."

"Everything is exactly the same on this one!"

"But that one has Oliver Sykes on the cover! It's not the same!"

"You're impossible."

"Am not." I carefully pluck the magazine from her grasp, fearing she'll smudge it with her nail polish. I put both magazines in my drawer, away from the dangers of Isabelle Lightwood, and make sure to hide the other copies of the same issue, all with different covers. I needed them all, it was essential.

Izzy begins to rummage through her purse, presumably searching for whatever wasn't found in her backpack.

"Ha!" she exclaims as she abruptly holds up a Cosmo magazine in her hand. At that very moment, we hear a faint knock on my bedroom door.

"Hey, kiddos," Luke says as he walks over and sits at my computer chair. He looks over at Izzy and she grins at him, batting her eyelashes.

"Hey Mr. Graymark."

"Iz, I always tell you to call me Luke. You know calling me 'Mr. Graymark' makes me feel old," then he gives her his signature grin. Yep, he's got one of those too.

Izzy actually giggles_._ Ugh, this crush is just ridiculous. "Okay, fine... Luke," she says, and I throw her a glare. She returns my gaze apologetically. Frankly, I don't think that she can control these responses. The truth is, he's an incredibly charming man, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

"Clary, I, uh—came in here because I wanted to give you a heads up that your mom and I are about to leave back to her studio. She's got a lot of preparing to do for the art festival and, considering how late it'll probably get for us, we decided to just crash out at the bookstore."

I blink. I'm not sure why he's telling me this; it's typically what they do every year. As if he reads my mind, Luke grins at me and continues. "The reason I say this is to let you know that, if you were to decide to—oh, I don't know— enforce some of those conditions you gave Jon in exchange for his use of the car...well, your mom and I wouldn't be around to oppose."

A slow grin spreads across my face, and I know my eyes are gleaming in anticipation. I'm pleasantly surprised at his implication and, by the look on Izzy's face, it's evident that she's just as impressed. "Luke, are you saying what I _think_ you're saying?"

He raises both hands in surrender as he gives a breathy laugh. "I'm not saying anything. I'm certainly not saying you drag him out of bed. I'm most definitely not suggesting you make him chauffeur you around in the middle of the night. I'm not admitting that I think he needs to learn his lesson, or that I overheard you earlier tonight brainstorming ways to punish Jon. I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying, your mom and I won't be home and I would really prefer if you texted me periodically so I know what's going on." Izzy is chuckling as she flips through her Cosmo magazine, failing to discreetly ogle at Luke. I want to smack her so hard; it's thoroughly annoying how she constantly checks him out.

"Well, I'm definitely not admitting that you're the best ever, or that I'm going to cause any trouble for Jon tonight at all..." I smile mischievously as I cross my arms. "I _will _admit I'm both surprised and proud of you right now, Luke. I think I speak for both Izzy and me when I say that we didn't know you had it in you."

"She's right. It's pretty rad how you're cool about Clary messing with Jon. I would've expected you to lecture us on taking the high road, or some bullsh—I mean, nonsense—like that," Izzy tries to hide the new shade of red her face is covered in. Luke always has that effect on my friends; they start to feel so comfortable around him that they forget he's an adult. He's never seemed to mind colorful language, but I still I try not to do it often, though the truth is that cursing is like a second language to me. I just can't help it sometimes. I blame Jon.

He rubs the bottom of his chin with his fingers as he chuckles. Evidently Izzy's little mishap went unnoticed by him. "Jocelyn doesn't believe in teaching people a lesson"—he uses finger quotes around the phrase—"and she wouldn't be pleased if she knew what you were thinking about doing for the next few weeks. She's always been a very passive and peaceful person." He shrugs. "But I'm not your mom, and I was really looking forward to working on that Volkswagen I had lined up for you. It was going to be the epitome of a flower-child bug."

I feel a surge of annoyance wash over me. I narrow my eyes, and they instinctively turn to the closed door behind Luke as if I could see down the hall and into Jon's room through the wooden barrier. I ball my hands in fists when I think about how both Valentine and my own twin brother decided they would determine what car I would drive around without so much as any consideration for anyone but themselves. Yes, Valentine is my dad and he decided that, no matter what stage in life I hit, he will always provide support in any way possible. Yes, he bought me the car and asked for nothing in return. But I had saved money. I had plans to pay it off myself. I was taking steps toward having a small semblance of independence. He felt that my safety was more important, and I can respect that, but he wouldn't have taken those measures if my brother hadn't filled his head with crap about how unreliable and unstable the car I wanted could turn out to be. He insists that Jon had nothing to do with it, but the excuses my dear old dad gave me sounded as if Jon himself had spewed them. They had his name laced all over them as they were spoken.

"Clary?" Luke pulls me out of my daze. I finally tear my eyes away from the closed door to my room.

"Hmm?" I hum as our eyes meet.

He's hesitant. I can tell by the apologetic look in his eyes as his gaze moves from Izzy and me; the way he's rubbing the back of his neck with his hand is one of his classic tells. "I, uh, didn't actually come in here just for that. Not that I don't enjoy watching you give Jon a hard time for once, since it really isn't that often I get to see that. The main reason I came in was actually because I wanted to forewarn you about your mom. She's really excited that you decided to help out Izzy with the flyer design. Well...she's kind of thinking that it means you might be up for reclaiming your spot in her project for the art festival..." Luke trails off, and his eyes finally meet mine. I don't really know what to say, because this entire situation was born through a lie—something I genuinely hate doing to Luke. His blue eyes bear into mine with his pleading gaze. He's worried, excited, and hopeful for me all at once.

"I don't know, Luke..."

"I'm not saying that you have to; I'm just asking you to please consider it. Your mom misses you at the art studio, and your students miss you too. She's still hoping you'll go back and teach some classes like you used to." His eyes continue to search mine, probably looking for any trace of the spark I feel when I get my hands on some paint or I get an idea for a sketch.

I bite my lip, feeling the anxiety starting to spill over. "I just don't feel like I can do that right now."

"You have to learn to let yourself cope, Clary. Sebas—guys can't have this kind of control over you. You can't let them dominate your ability to live your life. This is your life, your art, and your sketching. Besides, the best time to express yourself is when you're experiencing all those feelings that come from a breakup. Imagine all the anger and frustration being poured out onto the canvas."

"That would be pretty kick ass," Izzy chimes in, and I glare at her. First she flirts with him mercilessly, and now she's siding with him? I open my mouth to tell Izzy to buzz off, but Luke interrupts me.

"Please, Clary. Don't do it for me, or your mom, or anyone else. Do this for yourself. You're the one who loves art. You're so talented, and I can't let you suppress that side of you, not without a fight. You don't have to give me an answer now—heck, you don't have to ever give me an answer about this. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. But just beware that your mom is going to start dropping hints about you rejoining her project. I just wanted you to be prepared for that. I know how you get when your mom starts pressing things on you, but maybe that's not such a bad thing in this case."

I'm rubbing circles on my temples at this point. I really don't want to talk about any of this. Talking leads to emotions, which I just can't handle right now. That's the whole reason I took a break from art—the raw feelings I get are just too much for me right now. I desperately need to take the edge off, but I really don't want to take the risk of falling off the deep end again. It took me weeks to kick the habit last time, but I could seriously use a drink right now.

"I think she just needs to blow off some steam by giving Jon a hard time. The rest can wait. I mean, time is really all she's ever asked for," Izzy says with a shrug of her shoulders. She has now scooted closer to me on the edge of the bed. She's to my left and is rubbing circles on my shoulder for comfort. I hate when people speak for me, like I'm a defenseless little girl who can't fend for herself, but, at this point, I'm too fed up to care. My best friend is filling her shoes amazingly and knows that I just don't want to deal with this right now.

Luke gives me a sympathetic smirk, and I hate the feeling it gives me. I don't want to be pitied. "Right, well, your mom and I have gotta get going. Lots to do tonight. Oh, and Clary? Don't forget to keep me updated, on you and Jon's whereabouts." With that, he ruffles my hair and walks out of my room.

* * *

><p><strong>There you have it! The long awaited chapter 4! I really wanted to work on some character development with the rest of Clary's family and friends. I made sure to add some Clace in, due to the long wait I made you all endure. I really love Jocelyn and Luke's relationship, can you all tell? Luke is such a beautiful man, and Izzy is quite aware...sigh...<strong>

**I feel like I don't say this enough, but thank you to all my readers, followers, and favorites. I am so grateful; you guys have no idea how encouraging your reviews are! I don't reply to my reviewers, I'm admittedly really bad with that. I hope to change it soon, it's just a lot more to handle than I expected. I heavily underestimated how this whole thing works.**

**A shout out to my babe, ****tiggerjoshy.**** I'll be seeing you later this year, keep pushing through and making me proud on your deployment. I love you!**

**Another thank you to ****rippingbutterflywings**** for being an amazing friend, taking the reigns on this one, and beta-ing for me while ****IWriteNaked**** is on a short beta break from this story. You're amazing, RBW, this chapter would not have been half as presentable if it wasn't for you. **

**I also want to take this time to say that ****IWriteNaked**** is an amazing girl; I know this because she's actually a personal friend, one of my best friends to be precise. She's an amazing and sweet girl, she's loyal, and she's self-admittedly rude at times. But who isn't? Everyone is different, that's how the world works. She is who she is, and unless you hear something about her (or anyone for that matter) from a personal friend, then it can't possibly be a reliable source. It's like asking someone who's never been to New York City if they like the view from the Statue of Liberty…you can't really count on a reliable answer. Anyway, I love her and will always pledge my allegiance to her. Why? Because she's my **_**friend**_**, the Clary to my Izzy, my parabatai.**

**One final shout out to the amazing ****SpikeyHairGood****, another really close and dear friend of mine. We are kindred spirits, she and I. She has helped me push through many tough times. She gets me. **

**xoxo- DeathCabForMari, SS&A, M4L**


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